Mom cats will nurse every 2 hours or when babies cry. If babies don't cry after nursing, they are getting enough. If they cry after nursing, mom may not have enough milk for all kittens. Take mom and kittens to the vet.
Mom cats often adopt another cat's litter, especially if the mom recently gave birth. For young kittens, that's okay BUT mom will need more food with protein (e.g. a good dry and wet food). However, 12-week old kittens should NOT be nursing. Separate the older kittens from their "adopted" mom and get them onto dry food.
First of all, keep the mom cat comfortable, fed well, and clean. The same goes for after the kittens come. Second, you'll need to prepare for the kittens. Make sure the bed/box or wherever the mom cat is staying is big enough for herself and for her kittens. Keep the bedding clean as well.
You'll need to give your cat lots of extra care and nutritious food while she's feeding nine kittens. Nine is a lot, but if she's fed well and often, she will be fine.
Yes you can, but it depends if the mom cat trusts you enough to let you hold her babies at that young age.
Kittens get milk from the mom immediately. They move away from their mom for short periods between 4-6 weeks. By 6-8 weeks they can be taken away from their mom, such as for adoption. Kittens should be weaned before that time. Moms do weaning.
yes
No, males do not participate in the feeding of the kittens.
no
When the mother will let him near enough, Tom can visit. Mom will hiss and throw a hissy fit if she doesn't want him nearby. And he won't want to stay if mom is being grouchy.
you had to fine the mom
They care for kittens the same way your house cat cares for her kittens.
If the question is "Do kittens make messes", then the answer is yes, and Mom cat cleans them up, until she has trained the kittens to use the litter box.