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He's playing you like a fine fiddle. Narcissistic people are ego-maniacs, controllers and can be verbally abusive (even physically abusive at times.) They love to feel in control so "game playing" is high on their list and that's exactly what this guy is doing to you. A person that loves you does not treat you in this manner. Tell him to get lost! Get on your own two feet and become independent and think of the signs of this narcissistic ex-boyfriend and learn from your mistakes. There is never a happy ending in a narcissistic relationship.

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Q: Is your ex-boyfriend a narcissist if he has narcissistic traits but he does say he loves you and says he misses you and pursues you when you are gone?
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When a narcissist cries and says she misses her children what does it really mean?

I like to call it Swahili. And in Swahili what it means when my narcissist cries and says she misses her children is "I want you to reassure me that you are not mad at me, won't abandon me. Because if you do get mad at or abandon me, then I cannot enjoy a reputation of being a good parent. I cannot hit you up for money to bail me out of my jams anymore and I won't have anyone to take care of me, because I can't take care of myself."


Why would a narcissist say they have been seeing other women but when he is with others he misses you?

A Narcissist needs sources of narcissistic supply - adoration and attention to help him feel that he is superior/of worth. If you are in a realtionship with a narcissist, you fulfill this function for him for a while, but once he feels that you no longer do this for him (usually because you have been so devalued by him you cannot make him feel that way as much as he needs, and the fact that narcissists fear and despise intimacy), he will turn to other sources as well to maintain the "high" of positive regard. However, despite the fact that he is seeing others, he may say he misses you so as to make sure he keeps all available sources of supply open to him, just in case.You have become the "safe bet". His statements of missing you are an attempt to manipulate you into being there for him when needed. Something he is probably very adept at. He cannot live without having someone to give him a sense of self - something he cannot do alone. He will not be able to fully understand that doing this is wrong, confusing to you and hurtful, because he simply cannot be empathic or compassionate, it is all about him and the way he feels. Unfortunately, there is very little chance this behaviour will change, Narcissistic Personality Disorder can be quite a severe and enduring disorder, often with a lifetime prevalence. There are a lot of good resources on the web that explain narcissism, its drives and consequences on those who have been involved with narcissists. Here is a link that I found very instructive and comprehensive when trying to understand the narcissist: http://www.drirene.com/1_nar.htm


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I think they kinda go a little nuts! They begin to question their worth and feel very empty. They will perhaps work long hours to avoid pain. They may try and get attention. They will feel very alone as they see they are not that important aftre all. They may also become angry at people who left them.


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