My husband had an affair and got caught and now he hates me It's confusing because he says he wants our marriage to work but his attitude towards me has changed?

Answer 1

Some how growing apart is not a part of love. Every thing changes.,But, apart is another word for,"this might happen again." This has nothing to do with what he says or does or thinks right now. Forget that right now. This is about what you say. Do you still love him? Can you live with this until he comes around to loving you again? If you love him now is the time to be the best wife you can. At lease your half of the convenant will be strong. Then if you find yourself where he leaves you, because some day if he doesn't change that will happen. You can know that you did all you could to make it work. And leave with your head high and your heart safe. But, if you can not. Love is putting the needs and wants of someone else before your sex needs and other wants. But, if you can't live without him. Then do the very best and love him with ALL your heart and put this behind YOU. Don't throw it up to him or it is over for the both of you. Sorry should come with IT WILL NEVER HAPPRN AGAIN. Any thing less, you have to guard your heart. But, saying all of that. Ask yourself do you need him or want him? When the need is gone so is the so-call love. Love rises higher than need. Time to love him. Or time to get out. But, first I would pray and seek someone higher than the two of us and the two of you. Get help. Standing alone is very hard and you can't trust your feelings right now because your thinking out of pain. Not a place of power or strength. You need both, and The Bible has them both. Try it!

AnswerIf your husband wants to work things out, he needs to end the affair, having absolutely no contact with this person, and if possible going to marital counseling with you. If he refuses to stop contacting this woman or renew being a full time, responsible partner in your relationship, the marriage is doomed. It doesn't matter how much you love him--if he is unwilling to take responsibility for his actions and become an honest, contributing partner to your marriage, you will eventually desire to find happiness and trust somewhere else.

More importantly, do you still want to still be married to your husband or not? Feelings don't switch off the minute that trust has been broken, especially if there is a shared history and children. But while the affair may end, the issues that led to and resulted from it may last a long time. It's very possible for you and your husband to still care about the other but to have an emotional divorce from each other long before either of you decides to get a legal one.

Answer 2

What you see as anger towards you is anger at himself, guilt, shame, embarrassment and general anger at the whole situation however, you should be hearing remorse and sorry not anger. And frankly he has no reason to be this way towards you or treat you in such a manner - he is the one that betrayed you now its where you go from here. Only you can decide what is best for you and in your best interest. If you plan on forgiving him and possibly trying to work things out marriage counselling may be an option as to work out these issues as well as underlying ones that you both may repress. If your ready to move on and cannot trust him then give him the boot and don't look back, live your life and move forward. Only you can decide.