Should you get a divorce after your husband's affair?

Answer 1

No short or simple answer to this sorry. Very often, affairs of married men stem from their desire to prove that they are more powerful than the norm, that they are capable and deserving of many things, many women and many pleasures. It is how men are genetically constructed. Women on the other hand often have affairs because of love or desire to feel more loved.

Should you go back to a cheating husband? Firstly one must ask "was there some dissatisfaction or boredom or strained relationship that led him to wander out? Why did he have an affair to begin with?" Secondly as Dr. Phil says "the biggest predictor of future behavior is past behavior". So chances are good that he will have another affair at some point. Science has shown that men who have secret affairs usually feel younger and stronger because the testosterone levels, the endorphine and the serotonin levels increase. It is very very hard, biologically, to move away from these happiness-causing hormones. Thirdly: most men would feel some level of guilt about the breach of trust and the risks of breaking their family. It must be asked: does he want me back because of me? Or because he is afraid of losing respect in the community? Or is he afraid of being labelled in society and at work and in his professional circles and in his religious gatherings etc?

Therefore you must decide whether to go back to your husband and:

a) accept the continuation of a dissatisfactory or boring or strained relationship?

b) expose yourself to the risks and heartbreaks and hurts and disappointments of yet another affair in the future?

c) always live in an air of uncertainty wondering if he wants you back because he genuinely loves you or if he wants you back merely to retain his control and power base or to soothe the pains of his guilt and protect his reputation?

Finally you must ask what are your prospects if you leave the marriage? Very often, it does not turn out nearly as bad as one fears!

Answer 2

• Yes, you can see a lawyer to file for divorce because of your husband's affair. However, if this is the first time your husband has ever had an affair be wise; cool off and see if you can save the marriage. There have been thousands upon thousands of marriages where one spouse has made the mistake of having one affair and felt remorse and with marriage counseling the marriage has become stronger. If your husband has more than one affair then go for the divorce.
• yes you can file for divorce but how do you feel about the situation obviously your upset but do you still love him if you do you have to work at a marriage its not easy but start to build up trust again maybe go to counseling go on a few dates. in a marriage each person has to build there side of the bridge build youras if he builds his side then give him a second chance