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What can you do if you are divorced and your oldest son is being abused verbally and physically by his father?
Wiki User
∙ 8y ago
I am really sorry to hear this and you are in one heck of a predicument. There are ways though.
If your husband only has your son for a short period of time and then your son comes home to you, check him out for any bruises or welts on his body. If you find any, take pictures! Then I would suggest seeing the police and if they don't do anything seek out a lawyer. Some lawyers will not charge you immediately, but take a larger percentage later after the case is either won or lost.
Even if your son doesn't have marks on his body, you can either see a psychiatrist and let him work with your son and get the info and then go to the police or seek out legal council.
I wish you good luck.Marcy
The physical bruises will heal, but the emotional bruising needs to be addressed straight away. Kids especially internalise EVERYTHING very deeply and this internalised pain comes out later as low self esteem and an inability to feel good about the world and their own life.
What people (not you, I am just saying as a very generalised thing) don't realise is that kids need to be taken away from the people abusing them IMMEDIATLEY.
The pain becomes deeply imbedded in the subconcious mind and will find it hard to feel safe, good about who they are and grow up feeling bad about themselves....if this is not dealt with.
The emotional alienation might be a problem later on as far as kids trusting anyone intheir adult life- not being able to trust anyone in order to resolve the problem.
As adults we can rationalise things and have the intellect to manage our pain, children do not. It goes straight to the spot in their minds that tell them how to feel about themselves.
ADults just don't seem to wake up to this fact. So I commend youhighly for taking a brave initive and step to seeking help. Well done and good luck.
P.S If it was my kid I'd give the father a legal experience that he'd never recover from.
I'd have liked more detail but if you can get your son to yourself take him to the police and convince him to confide in them. Their doctor will examine him to verify the allegations. You could take him to your own doctor first but remember the police doctor may have quicker access to forensic methods of examination. If you suspect sexual abuse you must seek to get this sorted out as soon as possible, your son's sanity is at stake, your do not want to leave things as they are because the mental effecdts of long term sexual abuse have been attributed to have caused the abused victims to abuse others themselves in later life. Get your son away from this man and keep a close watch on your sons activities, he may feel as though he is to blame if he has been 'brainwashed. So heed this advice and if it is not offered ask the authorities for counselling for your son.
Wiki User
∙ 8y ago
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That would mean you're being abused.
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Tell the court about it.
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