What do you do if you feel uncomfortable with your ex-spouse when you have to be together briefly due to the needs of your disabled adult son and you have both remarried?

Answer 1

I think you should get down on bended knees and thank the heavens for gracing you with this situation. You have a disabled son, so two mature men are getting along so there isn't further misery between your son and two grown men arguing and fighting. It appears that your son is everything in your life, but he is also your exes son and so, it's time for you to grow up and the 3 of you work towards making this child as happy as possible. If your ex is causing problems, then you should be talking to your husband first about it, then to your ex and try (for the sake of your son) to smooth the rough edges out. This is an unusual case and I would normally tell you to tell your ex to move on, but that's impossible. You are also very lucky that your ex even cares about his son as many don't. I am sure in your marriage with raising a disabled son you and your exe's nerves were shot because of the stress and worry and thus, your marriage broke up, but that doesn't mean to say he doesn't love his son very much. You feel uncomfortable because it's normal to want to leave the past in the past and not drag it along with you. I also have an ex and have been married 34 years to my wonderful husband, but, at one time it would have made me feel uncomfortable. You just never know if the ex will fill the head of your present husband with their rendition of how life was with you. Of course this is an immature way of looking at things because your husband has chosen you, taken on the responsibility of your son with disabilities and that's proof of love right there. If the 3 of you are getting along then try not to feel so uncomfortable. Perhaps stay away from "close encounters" for a bit, until you are more use to it. Also, put your son first and let him know you and your husband are getting along with his father. To children it doesn't matter if mom or dad is married to another mate, all they know pure and simple is "mom and dad!" More input: * This is my situation. At first I couldn't see the "blessing side" of this predicament. To have both fathers working to assist their son together, with all the hate and hard feelings put aside is beautiful. And I see how thankful I should be that my son is now in the center of two loving families. I can allow the two men to chat all they want now that I can see the whole picture and the blessing it really is. You are one very wise lady and a great mother. Your son is obviously the light of your life and here is this "angel" bringing everyone together in peace. I once heard such a wonderful quote I typed it out and put it on my fridge and it said: IF YOU CAN'T FORGIVE A PERSON, THEN THAT PERSON STILL HAS CONTROL OVER YOU. Although it would be wonderful if your son was well, but as cruel as it sometimes seems, this little angel has brought wisdom and peace to your families (OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF BABES!) Don't miss one blessed moment of your son. Good luck God Bless Marcy