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What do you do when your boyfriend keeps contact with his ex a secret because he is afraid it will upset you since she has been unable to move on emotionally and still is emotionally dependent on him?

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2005-11-17 19:13:05
2005-11-17 19:13:05

This girl is probably playing your boyfriend like a fine fiddle. He has become an "enabler" and allows her to manipulate him. If she is so distraught over their break-up he should be using this time getting her some psychiatric help. Many people split up, feel pain, but move on. He is probably a nice guy and doesn't want to be responsible for her outcome, but here is what you can do: Tell him that she is quite welcome to come over for dinner. This gives you a chance to size her up. WOMEN CAN'T FOOL OTHER WOMAN! If he says this isn't a good idea or she refuses to accept your invitation then tell him this: "I am sure you are very concerned about her well-being, but life goes on. People split up every day and manage to cope, and she shouldn't be any different. If she is mentally depressed over it then you should have been using this time to get her some help and I would have understood that, but I'm not standing around waiting while you rush over to her place at her every whim and then come back to me. Either you do something about this now or our relationship has ended. I want some communication on this subject regarding you and her and you have 2 weeks to get this thing solved one way or the other. The fact he is with you is a good sign. Some people just have a big heart and he sounds like one of them. I doubt very much he is cheating on you on purpose. Some men are really taken in by needy women and while men may just want to help they often can be easily seduced by these women (they feel sorry for them.) Hopefully, this is what your boyfriend is like. Have that talk with him and don't just stand around taking this type of treatment as it's disrespectful to you. Good luck Marcy

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