What do you do with a guy you have repeatedly told it's over yet you keep letting him talk you into still seeing him?

Answer 1

The person you have to convince is yourself. You need to take "time out" and think about your own needs and what exactly you want out of life. It seems you are afraid of becoming independent, because if you were independent you would have moved on from this guy by now. In this modern age more young people are going for careers or traveling because they can, and there seems to be no rush to have a serious relationship. You may be one of those people, but obviously, soft-hearted. It's time to meet with this guy and sit down over a drink or coffee in a public place and tell him it's over! Tell him to leave you alone, and if he continues you will report him to the police. However, I don't think this guy is any great threat and it's YOU that has the problem. Get lean and mean and stick to your guns. The future is a rush of great adventures and it's better to be part of it than to give it up because you're too soft-hearted to mean "no" when you've said the word. Go for it girl! You're stronger than you think. Good luck Marcy Thanks for being brutally honest, Marcy. Thing is, I am very independent and have always been that way. I have always done what everyone tells you not to. Break up with giving no reason, and usually, don't feel bad about it, sorry to say. If they have done something to hurt me, I had no problem shutting them out. I'll take your advice, and tell him today, that I cannot let myself be treated like he treats me anymore. You're right. Life is an adventure and he is slowing me down. I have missed out on so much by waiting around, telling him off, then letting him talk me into something I don't want to be in. Yet, he only talks like that when I want out. I don't know what my problem is with him, because he doesn't make me happy. Somehow, he keeps this hold on me that I can't figure out. Advice duely noticed and taken. Thanks again!! Glad I could help and let's say, you're just soft-hearted. I know I was when younger, but as you age you get the disposition of a Pitt Bull if someone starts playing games with you. LOL Good going girl. I know you're going to have one heck of a future. You are too good for this guy. Lots of luck Marcy Wow, Marcy. Did I just get an email! Somehow, my words of "I deserve better" and things like that, turned into "read your email carefully, as everything is about you and how you were mistreated." I told him what I wouldn't take anymore, and that is what he turned it into. Unbelievable. Then, he said that he didn't need this right now, and how I have very poor timing, than compared me to his ex. OMG. I had to have a giggle at your last post. I know it hurts to realize you wasted time on this rat, but most of us have had a rat or two in our lives. The lucky thing is, you're smart and always one step ahead of him and thank God, you found out what type of guy he is now before you wasted more time. I figured he was the whiny type that always blamed others for his problems. I am sure he goes through life blaming others for things that fail in his life, so don't be so hard on yourself. You are but one of many he whines too. Now you have your answer and you can tell him to take a long run off a short pier. If I thought it would help I'd mail you over a pacifier to give him. LOL Email him and tell him not to worry about you nailing him at the wrong time (there is never a good time with these types) because you're finished with him. Then take him off you "A list" (block him) and don't answer phone calls from him. I know there is a great guy out there for you and I bet you'll meet him by summer. I know you'll be as lucky as I was the second time around. Hope to hear from you soon again. Marcy Hey Marcy. Thanks again. Glad I could give you a giggle. I truly see how self centered he is, was and always will be. I did send him an email back, basically telling him how I see him, always thinking about himself. I really laid it all out there and said, now, who has the problem? Oh, yeah, his email back was all sensitive then after I went a few rounds on his HUGE ego. I simply said good bye and good ridence. I deserve better and once again, it supposedly slapped him upside the head for once. Not that it does any good. It was hard at first but once you get that hateful return stating that YOU are the problem, it's a whole lot easier to voice it all and move on!! Thanks again for being hard on me at first, and for supporting and encouraging me now. Look forward to the next time, as I have much more knowledge of what it should be like. Thanks again, you're the greatest. Jen Hi Jen I'm so proud of you and you are one independent lady and will go far! Who needs a rock around their neck! LOL Glad you gave him something to chew on and one thing I do know about such controlling jerks is it does bother him that you laid it all out for him and threw it back in his face! Get a big grin on your face and know you hit him where it hurts! The very best of luck (you won't need it girl ... you've got guts! LOL) Marcy