What does it mean when your 45-year-old fiance says he wants to concentrate on his acting career and wants to be free after more than three years together?

Answer 1

I've been with my 45 y.o. fiance for more than 3 years (I'm 31). About 4 months ago, he told me that he feels that he's getting nowhere. He was so frustrated and he felt that he was beginning to look old. He said he needs to be free so he could pursue his acting & singing career. I support him in his endeavors but he doesn't see it that way. He always thinks that I'm trying to pull him down. I'm a professional in the medical field. We talked about it and finally decided not to break up. Two weeks later, he was in a financial trouble. I was surprised because he had a full-time job and I was wondered where all his money was going since I cover most of the bills. He was also acting a little strange. He gets mad over little things. He would criticize or say hurting words towards me. I had a gut feeling that he might be cheating. I started going over his phone bills. Two numbers kept coming up. I asked him that night if he knew those numbers (from MY phone) because I'm changing my phone & I don't want to lose any of my contacts. His face turned white and he got defensive. I let it go that night. The next day I called the 2 numbers and it was an Indian girl. She sounded very young. I mentioned his name pretending it's a wrong number and hung up....15 minutes later my fiance called and asked me why I'm calling his friend's house. I just told him I made a mistake. I knew then that she's a girlfriend. I further researched. I found out that his friend who has a kiosk at the mall introduced my fiance to his new wife (who just turned 19). The 19 y.o. started calling him and that's when it started. They started their affair about 5 months ago. I confronted him about it after I gathered all the information but he was denying it. He said that he was just friends with this girl. About 3 weeks ago, I decided LET HIM GO because the whole thing is just too stressful. He disappears between 2 pm to 6 pm. He is constantly on the phone (like a teenager). His dishonesty really hurt me. I told him I forgive him but I'm letting him go. He told me that there was nothing between him & this 19 y.o. It was just a "phone thing"....he would never have sex with her because she's young and he is not really looking for sex just someone to talk to other than me. I was devastated!! For the past weeks, I've been trying to just stay away from him but he still calls me. He calls me in the morning like he did before. He would go to my house and just be there. He would ask me to go with him to places that we used to go to. I gave in once but it just hurt me so much to be reminded of the good old days. He even told me that the other girl is also slowly fading. He has no girlfriend now and he's totally free. He is still confusing me with his words & actions. I want to move forward from this. I don't want him back but sometimes I do.