What factors might influence you if you help other people at your own expense?

Answer 1

Helping people is always a good character builder and balances one's life. We should all learn to give without always receiving. However, there is a fine line in helping people and knowing when to stop and letting them learn to fly on their own: For example: A person you may know has a drinking problem and insists on drinking and driving and you know they are just not a social drinker, but on their way to becoming an alcoholic or, they are an alcoholic. To Help: * Offer to be a designated driver or take a taxi there and back until you can get them alone and sober to discuss their problem. * Be candid to them on a one-to-one (with no one else around) that they have a drinking problem. * Be supportive and tell them there is AA and you'll support them by going to Al-anon to better understand how they feel. * Ask them to seek psychological counseling and you'll back them 100% and go with them should they need your support. Most people with addiction problems are feeling a deep seated pain. Drinking and drugs helps them to forget for a little while. * Stay away from Night Clubs, bars, etc., because it will only entice the person. * If you commit you have to commit 100% or you will unravel any good you may do. LEARN WHEN TO STOP HELPING: * The person refuses to let you drive and refuses to give you the keys to the car if they are drunk. * When you are candid about their drinking if they continue to deny that they are an alcoholic and 'can leave it alone anytime they want, but they just don't want too.' * They refuse to go to AA because THOSE people are alcoholics and they are not! * They refuse psychological counseling and may deny there is anything in their past making them drink and they just enjoy social drinking and can handle it. * When you stay away from Night Clubs, etc., to help and they sneak out or go out with another person to have their own way with their drinking habits. * When they continue to drag their loved ones down with them. * If they are abusive verbally or physically. * As a last resort combind friends or family members as Intervention and have a good psychologist in the group to confront the person. * If you want to commit to them then try for 100%, but don't feel you have let the person down if they don't try to help themselves. Whether it's alcohol, a promiscuous friend; someone with depression; drugs; abuse, etc., the above fits. You should try to help, but not at the expense of your own sanity or time away from your loved ones. If the person is really trying then hang in there with them (but check up on them and be sure they are trying and not sneaking out or acting out because they may lie to you which isn't uncommon.) Learn to form the word 'NO' or 'UNACCEPTABLE BEHAVIOR!' Learn to stick to your word and when they don't try walk away knowing you gave it your best shot.