What is a person at fault with no car insurance in accident to do. in a car accident where i was at fault. i does not have insurance on my car. both cars are totaled. other woman has insurance help?

If you were at fault, then you are liable for all costs. Whether you have insurance or not does not negate your liability.
In most states if you fail to pay for the claimants losses you will lose your driving priviledges for up to 10 years or until you pay the bill which ever comes first.
If the other person has insurance to pay for their losses then you will be required to re-imburse that Insurance Company for the damages you caused, You are still the at fault party and are liable for the damages. If you don't pay the Insurance company they can also turn it over to a collection agency and it will definitely affect your credit for the next 10 years.
Basically to sum up. If you don't pay the damages you will likely lose your credit rating as well as your drivers license for the next 10 years.
Good Luck