Asked in RelationshipsTeen DatingFriendship
What should you do if you've fallen in love with your friend?
October 14, 2005 7:20AM
I'm a senior in high school, and I'm a bit lost as to what I should do. I've known this girl for four years, since my freshman year, and we've hung out in the same group of friends since then. I've always liked her, but ever since the end of last year, that's moved onto something more. We both do all the same extra-curricular activities - both in band, and she's a drum major, and we have all the same AP courses for our electives, so I'm studying with her almost every day. The thing is, ever since last year, I can't stop thinking about her. She's part of the reason I stayed in band this year, and is also why I joined Academic Decathalon (a course where we study 10 subjects and go compete in them), and is also why I started to apply myself more; she's sort of an over-achiever, and I can't stand it when I slack off and she looks disappointed in me. My day really isn't complete anymore unless I've talked to her, and every time I do, I feel like nothing can bring me down... For a senior trip, I've asked her to come with me and one of our mutual friends to go to France for a couple of weeks, where my uncle has a spare flat, and she's going. She's driving me insane; she's the last thing I think about before I fall asleep, and she's the first thing that pops into my head when I wake up, and I think about her even when I'm doing something else, like studying or working out - I'm not exaggerating, it really is getting this crazy for me. I want to ask her out so badly, but a few things came up. I'm afraid that if she doesn't think of me that way, our friendship might get a bit awkward, especially since we share all the same friends. Another thing is, neither of us has ever gone out with anyone before, so I'm completely at a loss on what to do even if I work up the nerve to ask her out. As far as dating goes, I'm completely and utterly lost. I was planning on taking her out to Homecoming as friends and seeing how things work out from there, but after getting in a fight with my parents, I was grounded, and one of our mutual 'friends' went with her instead. I hang out with this guy a lot at school too, and we're decent friends, but not close enough that I could tell him how I felt about her. I'm not sure if he likes her as well, or if even if she thinks of either of us in that way. Sorry for putting up an essay here instead of a post, but I desperately need advice on whether or not I should tell her how I feel, or how to go about doing that. Any help here would be GREATLY appreciated. The thing I love most about her is the passion that she has for everything that she does. In band, she'll be the first one to arrive and one of the last ones to leave for events like contests and football games, waiting for the last kids' parents to arrive. I started waiting with her, and we talk out all of our problems or just joke around; we've gotten into some pretty deep conversations, but I still haven't been able to force myself to tell her how I feel. In her classes, she'll study insane amounts of time to get the results she wants. Perfectionist, perhaps, but then again, we're both Asian raised in the typical culture, so that overachievement is sort of to be expected. I've started taking after her and putting in the same amount of time she does, but what gets me is how she can sleep for 3 hours and still show up with a giant smile on her face. Most people think she's only cute, but I think she's the most beautiful person I've ever seen. Every move that she makes is unbearably attractive to me: the way that her face lights up when I can make her laugh, the way her eyes seem to drag me in hold me whenever she talks to me, even the little scowl she gets when some calculus problem doesn't add up correctly. I'm not sure if this is infatuation or love, but it's been going on for the past few years, and it's driving me insane. PLEASE HELP ME! I think I'll end up dying if she won't have me, but I need to do something, or else I'll regret it, I know I will. Thanks for any help you guys can give me...