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Depending on whether the older adult agrees that the treatment is abusive, then you can take action with them on the phone or call an agency on their behalf. The web link for the National Center on Elder Abuse (NCEA)should lead you to a local resource. It is difficult to manage this when you are an outsider, but it seems like all of us depend on our community to protect and support us. There have actually been a few postings regarding adult children abusing a parent or an elderly parent. Could you please just post under this and give me a little more information as to what your problem is. Example: What is the adult child doing to you? Have to called the police? If we can have a little more information we can certainly help you. Thanks

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17y ago
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12y ago

If the abuse in physical, it must be reported or it won't stop. While some people feel guilty or blame themselves, the truth is there is no good reason for abusing someone; no matter what the abuser says, this sort of behavior is wrong, and it is also against the law. Reporting a family member to the police may be the last thing you want to do, but sometimes that is the only way to protect yourself. You may also want to speak with a member of the clergy that you trust, or a social worker, and get some advice on how best to proceed. Abuse must not be permitted or it will get worse.

If the abuse is verbal and ongoing, this too must be addressed, preferably by counseling. The most difficult thing can be getting the abuser to recognize that he or she needs help as well-- whether it is learning anger management, seeing a psychologist or (sometimes) having to be arrested. As for you, the victim of the abuse, there are a number of agencies where people who are being battered or otherwise abused can get help. Whether your adult child is willing to accept help or not, at this point you are the one who needs to feel safe. Please make some calls. Nobody deserves to be abused.

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Q: What should you do if you know of an older adult who is being abused by their adult child?
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