What should you do if your husband has not kissed you on the lips for 7 years and he only wants sex every 4 months?

Answer 1

This isn't really all that uncommon at all (unless 40 years or less.) Around the age of 40 it use to be called "mid life crisis", but now it's been discovered men do go through "male menopause." In the past, the medical profession (most being men) would have you believe that it's only women that go through this transition of life, but now it's caught up to the male species and it was always there! If your husband is perspiring a great deal and it's not brought on by being active, then complains of being cold he is having hot flashes. At night in bed if he has the covers on, then off, then on, that means he's having hot flashes. If he has mood swings and can be angry one moment, calm the next, or simply withdraws from life in general as well as sexual dysfunction (can't get it up) that can be male menopause. If you see any of these symptoms at least try to convince him to see your family doctor for a good physical. If it is male menopause the doctor can help. My own brother went through this and the doctor put him on short-term hormones. It helped tremendously. Also, your husband could be depressed. Signs are: lack of interest in his friends, your friends, family functions, work, not wanting to do anything or go anywhere. Sleeping a lot, lethargic. The doctor can also help with this as well. Diseases such as having had a heart condition (on meds) and Diabetes as well as thyroid can cause men (and women) to lose interest in their sex life and have depression. If you husband is on any medications please go onto www.Google.com and as for the sides effects of each drug. I wouldn't be at all surprised if sexual dysfunction is one of them. Some SSRIs (for depression) can lessen your sex life, but most people only have to be on these medications short-term. If you are a young couple, got married, have children, then it could be your husband is depressed. Even though many women work and help bring in a pay check, this still isn't enough to make the man feel that he's doesn't have to worry. Most good men will always worry about providing as best they can for their families and it's a tough road for sure. Try sitting down with your husband and asking why he doesn't want to make love or why doesn't he kiss you. Perhaps there are things you are doing that you aren't aware of. Perhaps you have been busy with house/kids/work that you are too exhausted to always give him the time he wants. It's good to get your feelings aired out and that way you can both really try to please each other as best you can considering your lifestyle. Some things you could try: If you have children get the grandparents or good friends to take the kids every so often so the both of you can go out with friends and have a little fun, or even a mini vacation for just the two of you. If money is an issue then ask a girlfriend with kids to take your kids one night on a weekend and you return the favor another weekend and that way there is no money exchanging hands. My husband and I go for nice long walks by the river (or even a park) to get some fresh air, look at the scenery and perhaps talk out some of our problems and by the time we get home we feel much better. I am sure your husband loves you very much, but men, unlike women, find it almost "weak" if they have to admit they need to see a doctor or talking over their problems with a therapist. Men have been conditioned through the years that they have to be strong, take on the heavy things in life re their family, and they should never cry or appear weak. This is a load of garbage. Men hurt inside and out, they have feelings, and they feel over-whelmed. They have a right to get angry and they have a right to cry in the privacy of their own home. Slowly, but surely, the onion is being peeled away one skin at a time to get to the heart of this problem. Most men are not just insensitive slobs that look down on women, but for the most part men are caring, loving and carry just as much garbage attached to their butts from their past as women do. I hope you will have that talk with your husband and I truly hope both of you can agree to try to please each other. Try getting that little mini holiday if possible, and if it's not possible, then get that girlfriend to babysit and get out of the house! If you have no children, force yourselves to get out of the house and start seeing other couples and having a few laughs. It's amazing that when we can visit with other friends and hear some of their problems, experience some good laughs together how much better we feel about ourselves. Good luck Marcy