0
What tactics will a narcissistic abuser use when the victim leaves?
Wiki User
∙ 14y ago
I can only tell you my experience. One they will ignore you. Then when they think they have "punished" you enough (even though you were the one that left and were relieved to get away; its all about THEM remember not you) they will get in touch as if nothing has happened turning on the FULL charm offensive, and say they will "forgive" you for all your faults,..they wont even ACKNOWLEDGE that you have left! If that doesn't work, they will remind you of all the nice things they did for you, how they helped you in every way (in other words you OWE me). Then they will say how much they loved you and all the troubles in the relationship stemmed from you, and if only you would have been more co-operative you and he would have had the perfect life. But he's willing to give you another chance in this journey you are on together. Then he will tell you how long-suffering he was and how he tried to ignore all your faults, but he couldn't help how he felt and you just were impossible for one reason or another to earn his trust, and everything bad he did to you was because he just couldn't TRUST you. Then you begin to think that it wasn't you that ended this relationship..it was him..and it was because you didn't treat him nice!! If you come to your senses at this point and tell him to take a hike, he will ignore you again, this time for real and go and find someone new to pester and brainwash. And after living practically the whole of my life with Ns..you don't live with these people (my dad, my first husband, a few of my live in boyfriends) without picking up on some of their traits and thinking. They are ALWAYS in the right; they can NEVER be proven wrong. You will ALWAYS be inferior to their awesome mindpower, sexual attraction, and if you can't handle how, great, good, popular, honest and super-human they are, its YOU who has the problem.
Wiki User
∙ 14y ago
Add your answer:
Earn +20 pts
Why is it not OK to expose the very people that use abuse and control their victim until the victim sees what is happening and realizes shes been scammed by narcissistic ego maniac on the prowl again?
It is OK to expose the person that uses abuse to control their victim, but it is the victim that has to report their abuser. Like any abuser whether narcissistic or has a large ego others do see these flaws in the abuser, but in many cases the victim at the beginning (unaware) often refuses to believe what others have to say about their abuser until the victim finds out the hard way. Many victims can feel ashamed or angry that it took them so long to figure out that the person they loved is an abuser, but abusers are extremely sly when it comes to luring their victims into their web. There is not much you can do about the abuser if you have left him, but you should get help from an Abused Woman's Center or a psychologist to learn the signs of abusive behavior so you do not make the same mistake twice. There are often small signs from an abuser from the beginning such as perhaps telling you what to wear; order your meals at restaurants and then slowly they alienate you from your family and friends. Then the abuser has you under their complete control and that is when the victim sees the ugly side of their abuser. You can tell anyone you like what the abuser is like and some will believe you and others will not or you can move forward in your life and realize you have learned from the bad relationship and will not make the same mistake again. Generally abusers will be caught at their own game.
The power relationship between the abuser and the victim?
The victim has no power or they would not be abused. The abuser always has the control. Children and the elderly are victimized often in society as well as men and women. The abuser will start out by abusing psychologically and 'put down' their victim until they leave their victim confused with no self confidence. The abuser may threaten to leave their victim (this is terrifying to the elderly); leave the wife and take the children; talk of killing the victim or anyone that is close to them. The abuser often isolates their victim so their victim has no family or friends to turn too and they have to suffer in silence and depend on their abuser.
What makes people vulnerable to abuse and the power relationship between the abuser and the victim?
the abuser is called sadist & the victim is called masochist.
Who is most likely to be the victim of a narcissistic abuser?
AnswerSadly enough, the most likely victim would be the one who has been abused before. Someone who the abuser deems to be vulnerable, and easy to manipulate. Often, it is the women/girl who is longing for the father figure. The abuser takes advantage of the opportunity to fill in this role, through applying rigid rules and controlling her every move. Despite their intimate relationship, she may continue to see him as a father, and use this to excuse his behavior.
Does the abuser have the right to be at the victim's deposition?
No, not at deposition if the victim opposes. But the accused abuser may request to watch the recorded deposition or monitor through video at real time.
What mental and physical signs are related to Stockholm Syndrome?
Positive feelings by the victim toward the abuser/controller Negative feelings by the victim toward family, friends, or authorities trying to rescue/support them or win their release Support of the abuser’s reasons and behaviors Positive feelings by the abuser toward the victim Supportive behaviors by the victim, at times helping the abuser Inability to engage in behaviors that may assist in their release or detachment
Explain how God forgives a sexual abuser who stop but was once a victim?
if the abuser is genuinely sorry for what he has done, admitted his wrong to both the victim and to god and has taken genuine steps to repent.however, if the abuser was once a victim, in y opinion, it makes the situation worse, as the abuser should be fully aware of the dammge he/she has done.I was violently raped, but i have no desire to abuse another human being.
What role does fear play in abusive relationships?
The abuser of the victim will first alienate the victim from their family and friends and can even move to another town in some cases. An abuser is sly as a fox and at first often can win over not only the victim with kindness and generosity, but also win over family and friends. However, there are many cases where family and friends can often see right through the abuser even before he segregates his victim. Once the two are alone the changes can come quickly such as verbal abuse (the abuser is inwardly unhappy about their own failures in life and will transfer this onto the victim) and then the physical abuse often comes next. Sometimes the abuser will never apologize to his victim, but many do and continue to promise that they will never do it again, but they do. The abuser is aware they have total control over their victim and if the victim shows any sign of independence or that they are going to leave the relationship this is when the real fear starts because the abuser will instill the fear of either killing their victim; their family or, if there are children the abuser may threaten to harm the children or have the victim believe she will never get her children as she is an unfit mother. The victim is basically brainwashed; lost all confidence in themselves; has been alienated from her family and friends and has nowhere to turn. The fear is real and the threats from the abuser are often real as well.
Is there any 'legal action' one can take to stop the narcissistic abuser from continuing involvement with the victim's family and friends after the victim has left and filed for divorce?
You can get a court order to have the abuser stay away from you. but your family will have to apply for a restraint order on their own as well as your friends will have to retain their own court orders and deal with it individually. You will have to see a lawyer and even if you get a restraint order against the abuser it is generally classified as "just a piece of paper" and you still may not be protected. Before you spend your money on getting a restraint order ask the lawyer in your state how much clout this legal action will have if the abuser should still contact you. Good luck Marcy
Is it normal for a victim who has figured out her abuser to want to scream 'You are an abuser and you need serious help' during an argument?
Not to scream it, but definitely let them know
What happens if the victim does not show up to a domestic violence case in New York?
The court will record the fact the victim did not turn up for a domestic violence case and it will be up to the victim's lawyer to decide what is next. Sometimes the victim of abuse feels threatened by her abuser or has been threatened to drop the case against the abuser.
How people who harm and abuse conceal what is happening?
Individuals who are physical or verbal in nature have a set pattern. Many abusers can be charming; likable; win over family members of the person they are going out with. Little by little the abuser's pattern of control over their victim (and they are a victim of an abuser) can simply be as innocent as telling the prospective victim what to wear or not to wear or, telling the person what to order in a restaurant. The control at the beginning is so minor that the prospective victim is not even aware of it. The abuser will control with one hand and perhaps give gifts with the other leading the victim innocent to the fact they are starting to be controlled. It is a myth that poverty stricken individuals to uneducated people are abused and media noted individuals (and in all aspects of life) can be abused. Slowly the abuser segregates his victim from their family and friends and eventually, if they choose to live together or marry the abuser will be sure to live some distance away from the victim's family. As the months go on the abuser then psychologically works on his victim causing the victim to feel disorientated; guilty; demoralized and has a great lack of confidence. Sometimes the abuse is physical and 'the slap' at first, by the abuser, was a 'mistake' and the victim believes it will never happen again as the abuser has apologized, but it does happen over and over again and the beatings can become worse. If the couple should go out in public the abuser holds a tight rein and threatens the victim to act normal as if nothing were wrong. The victim always accepts what the abuser says because they do not want to be physically harmed. Some abusers can go so far as to threaten the person's life; that of any children they may have together or even the victim's immediate family. To the abuser the victim is chattel (their property) which they feel gives them the right to treat the victim as they wish. It is also a myth that only men abuse women, but the statistics are showing that women can also abuse men. Most men are brought up not to strike a woman and do not and it leaves the male victim in a difficult situation. Males are not the type that would tell friends that their girlfriend or wife are physically attacking them or verbally abusing them as men have basically been brought up as being the dominant one physically and only women are abused. So, the male victim is left to fend for himself and do the best he can. Like the female victim he will cover up any sign of abuse because of shame and the guilt of letting it happen. There are Abuse Centers for both women and men in many States and in Canada.
