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Luke Large has a beard under his beard but Chuck Norris has a fist under his beard, Luke Large can finger someone with four fingers while chuck norris can fist three people at ounce, luke large can swim through land while water surrounds chuck norris. So Chuck Norris is better even though luke can wank 3 times in 5 minutes.

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LIST OF KNOWN CHUCK NORRIS JOKESJokes with bolded numbers are popular ones.1. Chuck Norris sleeps with the light on because the dark is scared of him!2. Chuck Norris was supposed to die 50 years ago but the Grim Reaper was to scared to take him.3. Chuck Norris killed two stones with one bird.4. Chuck Norris created his own mother5. Chuck Norris had a heart attack and he won.6. Chuck Norris does not make spelling mistakes, if he spells a word differently the dictionary will correct itself.7. Jesus and Chuck Norris had the same birthday, Chuck Norris doesn't care.8. If you have £5 and Chuck Norris has £5, Chuck Norris has more money than you.9. Chuck Norris doesn't sleep, he waits.10. Chuck Norris got bitten by an extremely poisonous snake, after extreme pain and seizure the snake died.11. Death is afraid of Chuck Norris.12. Chuck Norris made war marry peace.13. Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his father.14. Chuck Norris' daughter lost her virginity, Chuck Norris found it and brought it back.15. Chuck Norris can unscramble and egg.16. Chuck Norris is blind, no one could ever tell because he sees only in the colour of fear and since everything fears Chuck Norris he sees all.17. Chuck Norris gives polygraph machines a lie detector test.18. Chuck Norris can possess the Devil.19. Chuck Norris can look up a number in the phone book that's not listed in the phone book.20. The judges of American idol sing for Chuck Norris.21. Chuck Norris's roundhouse kicks cannot get sucked into black holes. Black holes get sucked into Chuck Norris's roundhouse kicks.22. Why is health care so expensive? Chuck Norris is sending so many people to the hospital every day.23. When Chuck Norris picks up a Rubix cube, it solves itself out of fear.24. Chuck Norris visits Hell for vacation.25. Chuck Norris can understand women.26. Bushes beat around Chuck Norris.27. Chuck Norris doesn't dance around the question. Questions dance around Chuck Norris.28. Chuck Norris invented pain.29. Chuck Norris's wife gave birth to his own parents.30. Chuck Norris can have it both ways.31. Even the amazing people are saying, "Wow, Chuck Norris is really amazing."32. Chuck Norris tells his mother who she can hang out with.33. Handicap signs aren't for handicap people they're for all the people that meet Chuck Norris.34. When Chuck Norris was born the sun said I quit!35. Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes. He just accidentally destroys chairs.36. Chuck Norris doesn't need bullet proof vests. Bullet proof vests need Chuck Norris.37. Guns don't shoot at Chuck Norris. Bullets aren't that stupid.38. The invention of the atomic bomb was created when Chuck Norris sneezed into a jar and it blew up only one one thing was left standing, Chuck Norris39. Chuck Norris can roundhouse kick you with his fist.40. The Boogeyman checks his closet each night for Chuck Norris.Cars were actually invented for a faster way to flee from chuck Norris, but Chuck 41. Norris invented the car wreck.42. Bruce Lee once survived a Round house kick. and then he woke up.43. Black holes cannot escape Chuck Norris.44. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.45. Chuck Norris stared at Medusa - she turned to stone.46. Chuck Norris is so fast that he could run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head!47. Chuck Norris dug a drainage ditch near his Arizona cottage - it's now called The Grand Canyon.48.Chuck Norris CAN divide by zero.49.Chuck Norris doesn't wear Superman pajamas - Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.50. Everybody loves Raymond - except Chuck Norris.51. Chuck Norris can have his cake and eat it, too.52. Chuck Norris can call different people by dialing the same number.53. Chuck Norris cuts his toenails with a chain saw.54. Chuck Norris doesn't mow his lawn, he dares it to grow.**55.** Jesus walks on water, Chuck Norris swims through land. *Laughter*


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