Why are people scared of the dentist?

Answer 1

Anyone can have a fear of anything. It can start by a parent's own fears and their words, by not being prepared for the first visit to the dentist, by a delay in care and not going as a child, by a painful first visit, or by going to the WRONG dentist or type of dentist. We can also have medical conditions that create irrational thoughts of fear.

If an activity is normal for a parent, it will probably be a normal routine for the child. If we as parents are afraid of a particular thing, the child may also mirror our fears. As a parent, we are called to be better than ourselves, to care for the precious life we are given; but it can be difficult to gather a courage to face something we are afraid of, even when we know our child needs it. If a task is too difficult for us as a parent to face without showing fear, then sometimes it is more loving to engage a braver friend or relative to go with us or take our child, so we don't pass on our fears. It would be important to check with the office you are planning to take your child to first, to see if their rules allow a non-parent to assist your child. Whoever made us think we had to do it all ourselves was wrong!

As an example: My mother was cool and calm in storms. Whether it was a bad thunderstorm or a tornado warning, my Mom stayed collected. The electricity went out frequently; and before the next flash of lightening, candles, little metal tins filled with candy, and games would appear. We would "camp out" in the hall until the storm blew over and the lights came on. It was a treat for us, because we rarely had candy. She may have been afraid on the inside, but she kept calm and played with us until the storm was over. To this day, I am not afraid of storms. I am aware, vigilant, and calm but not afraid.

When the parent and child are not prepared for their visit, fear can occur and may last a lifetime. The wrong words can cause just as much fear as the right words can prevent it. With my first son, I did not know when to take him to the dentist for the first time and was given the wrong information. I took him at age 5. The same age I was when I went the first time. I should have known that was wrong, because by the time I went, I had 4 cavities and never wanted to see that man again!. I thought I knew how to prepare my child for the visit. I knew the dentist he was going to. I took him to the dentist I went to when I was a child who was wonderful with children. My son had not been anxious when we left home, we had talked about where we were going and he had gone with me before. However, it was a terrible experience for all of us. I did not realize that children should start seeing the dentist at a much younger age for parent teaching and for the children's growing comfort. The noise of the machines frightened him, and the scraping frightened him, and we ended up getting 1/4 of his teeth cleaned that day. I was lucky to have a sweet dentist who did not chastise him or me for his feelings and fears.

When an adult or child has their dental care delayed, problems can develop that cause a person to have to have procedures that can be more uncomfortable. (Although dentistry has developed procedures to help most patients have pain free procedures, and there are practitioners who specialize in those who are afraid). When we associate any place with pain, we DO NOT want to go back to that place. Especially if we are a small child who cannot control our own world. This is why it is so important for a parent to rise above ourselves and take our children to the dentist for preventative check ups early and often, and to oversee their tooth brushing and flossing to prevent decay. This is one case of "Do as I say," even if it is "Not as I do." However, children learn best by mimicking good habits from their parents. That is also why they can learn fears when they mimic our fears.

With my second children, twins, I met the Pediatric dentist when one injured a tooth at 15 months. That is when I found out about the wonderful world of talented dentists who specialize in just taking care of children. My dentist told me that children need to get preventative care starting at age 12 months! The biggest blessing was that my twins were never scared. When we went for check ups, they said they were, "Going to get their teeth tickled." This also made the visits for my older son much easier. Seeing his little brother and sister breezing their visits soon made him realize it wasn't such a big deal. Today, there are children's books to help parents prepare their children for everything from a trip to the dentist, a parent or child being in the hospital, or a new baby in the house. Anything that causes an adult to worry, causes a child's world to turn upside down, because they cannot process things the way we do, and if they see the adult in their world upset and not knowing how to explain things to them they make up things in their head. The things they imagine are much worse. For instance: If the reality for the adult is minor, like they are anxious because the laundry and dinner and another task needs done at the same time and the child sees one parent get upset and yell at the other parent, what the child sees is not the anxiety from multiple tasks building up; what the child imagines in their head is catastrophe, "Mom hates Dad and does not love him and they are going to get a divorce like Susie's parents, and Susie doesn't get to see Daddy and I'll never get to see Daddy again and Mom fussed at me last night because I left my dirty socks on the floor and it is all my fault because Mom yelled at Daddy and it will be all my fault and I will never get to see Daddy again". While this is extreme. This is how a child can take our anxieties and make them a catastrophe in their little minds and create bigger fears when they do not understand our world. If the reality for the adult is a catastrophe, can you imagine how big it gets for a child? I saw that with my niece. When she was 4 her mother went in the hospital for an outpatient procedure. Her Mom ended up in I.C.U. instead of coming home that night. Her father was so afraid her mother was going to die. Something he said or didn't know what to say, or she over heard, or she made up in her own imagination; traumatized her to the point that she did not speak to anyone for two months. She is 7 now. She has has Selective Mutism for 3 years. She did not speak to anyone except her parents for 2 and 1/2 years. Not her grandparents, not friends, not her fun aunt, not teachers, not doctors...no one! About 6 months ago she started writing notes to a few special people. I was blessed to be one of them. Just recently, she has started to "whisper" to me, grandma, teacher, and a few friends! Imagine how hard it would be to not talk all day. She was so afraid to talk to anyone outside the home, that she would break out in a cold sweat, get pale, and almost faint. My best advice is, "Take it outside or another building when you have fears to discuss and find a counselor to find out how to discuss important matters with children, before silences speak louder than words!"

The wrong dentist or wrong type of dentist can cause fears. Taking a visit to the dentist's office before you take your child is the best way to find out about the practice. If you are a parent, ask how to explain the visit to your child. Yes a parent or an adult can and should do this. This is the best way to make sure you are taking your child or yourself to the right dentist. While you might love your dentist. Guess what? He might prefer not to work on young children! It is alright to ask. There are dentists who specialize in pediatric dentistry and making children and their parents feel more relaxed.

Some people also have medical conditions that create irrational thoughts of fear where none exist. If an adult or a parent who suspects their child has these, they should consult with a physician. However, the main things I hope to have written about in this paper is how we as parents might help our little ones prevent or face their fears.

The bottom line. There are few people who like everyone they meet in the world. If you do not feel comfortable with the dentist you went to. It is alright to choose another, but do go to another one. Don't let your fears hold you back! Poor dental hygiene can cause strokes, heart attacks, and other medical problems, not just loss of your teeth and pain, and there are gentle practitioners out there who understand and work especially with people who have fears.