Why are some wives afraid of intimacy after their husband's affair?

Answer 1

Gee, I dunno. Maybe because their husband took the most sacred physical, emotional, spiritual and social bond that a woman can have with a man and completely shattered it by having sex with another woman. Earning back trust is doubly difficult, not only because trust and openness were difficult to earn in the first place (courtship) but also because once that trust was earned, the husband broke that trust, likely lying repeatedly and neglecting her/her children in terms of time and attention.

It is indescribably destructive to the personal image of the woman as well. She has likely been constantly beaten down in her attempts to get attention for her husband (why won't he hold me/touch me/talk to me like he used to? Am I ugly? Am I driving him away? Etc.) with the final culmination of realizing that her husband has gone so far as being with another woman. It is likely the worst statement of "you're not good enough for me" any person can have.

It IS hard to trust another once you have been betrayed , but be patient and someone who deserves you will see how special you are , and make you feel comfortable and loved again .

Answer 2

If the person has cheated on you, he capability to cheat with the other person too.

When you go to a shopping mall, and you see a better mom who is more good looking, better educated , more well behaved and less stern, do you change your mom?

Husband wife relationship is more scared than any relationship on the earth, its said that it lasts for nine lives in Hinduism but I think its eternal.

Answer 3

Because adultery strikes at the very heart of marriage. Once one partner has been unfaithful, there isn't a marriage. If you both still want to be together, you have to start all over again, right from the beginning. And how can you be certain that he won't simply do it again in future?

If you are to trust him again, he needs to do something to show that this time he is committed to the marriage.

(1) Cut all ties with the Other Woman.

(2) Go to therapy to find out what prompted the infidelity. Do whatever the counsellor says to make sure it doesn't happen again.

(3) Take on some job that you both hate, such as cleaning the bathroom, or undertake some symbol that is meaningful to you, such as giving you flowers each week. He doesn't have to do this forever - just for a few months, or as long as it takes to show that he really does mean to be your husband this time.

Answer 4

It is hard for those who have been betrayed to even trust/love/understand themselves.

A wife who's husband cheated on her once told me: ''I am not beautiful, i am pitiful, i am not enough, he is still thinking of her while he kisses me, maybe she's better in bed''

The wife blames herself, feels terribly hurt, gets low self-esteem.

It's not that she is not giving her love back, it's because she is still caught in the why-did-that-happen-to-me moment that she forget she can forgive and love.