Because of the terrible physical/mental abuse you have taken. In order for humans to cope with any trauma our bodies go into a "safe mode" to protect us before we have to deal with the true reality of it all. It's almost a form of grieving in this case. The victim of abuse has been hurt so often they have built a stronger shell around them than they can ever know, so they objectify the person who abused them and treat them as a mere object and the abused hopes to limp through life on this point alone. You will go through many stages regarding your past abuse: You will justify the abuse you got by saying things like "Perhaps I didn't try hard enough and I deserved it." No, you did not! No one deserves to be treated in this manner. Then comes the shame of "how could I allow this to happen to me for so many months/years? I'm so embarrassed and ashamed of myself. I know inside I am a stronger person than this." Don't blame yourself so harshly as abusers are foxy as hell and are grand manipulators and most people are not any match for them. Then the feeling of isolation comes forth and the feeling that you have no self worth or any purpose in this life. But you do! This abuser has done a number on you and they are good at it and it's called, "Brainwashing!" If any of us are told enough times we are worthless and won't amount to much then we won't. After months, possibly a few years you will feel you have come full circle and have come to grips with the past abuse, but without professional help all you will do is initially limp through life and off and on either nightmares or self doubt will haunt you. Why? Because you haven't really faced those abusive months/years or why you let yourself be taken in by such a manipulator and you need to have that straightened out by a professional to get your self esteem and confidence back. Good luck Marcy
Men who are abusive generally have learned this from the environment in which they grew up. Some men have a short fuse and blast off with either verbally abusive words or they become physically abusive with their partner. Some men know deep inside it is wrong, but don't know how to get help and most men refuse to seek psychological counseling because it makes them feel weak and not masculine. If he refuses to get help then you have the power to get out of the abusive relationship.
Woman always try to give excuses in order to stay in an abusive relationship. If your in an abusive relationship then get out of one. It does not matter if you love them if they are hitting you they don't love you. There is no reason for a woman to stay in a abusive relationship. If they are abusive then they are blinded.
We cannot speak for all abusive men, but we assume that most of them know that they are abusers. Abusive men tend to come from abusive homes, and the behavior may seem normal to them. Others may feel that such behavior is their right. Most of them know the law, but when rage strikes, the law often doesn't mean much.
* The best way for an abused man to move on from a verbally abusive relationship is to seek counseling. Just like women, men may have lost their self respect; feel demeaned and ashamed (they are suppose to be the stronger sex) and he needs to find out why he stayed so long in the abusive relationship. Without proper counseling just like women, men can choose another abusive partner in the future and don't have the tools to tell when rag flags go up that the person they are with is controlling at best and the worst .. verbally or even physically abusive. Men have been brought up to not hit women, so it is very often hard for the man to make sense as to why he put up with the abuse for so long. Men can be victims of abuse too and they should not blame themselves.
the way to tell if you are in an abusive relationship is if your partner is forcing you to do things that are harmful to your saftey, or dangerous. like things you dont want to do. so remember, being forceful, or hurting one another in a relationship is abusive. even if it is the smallest thing like a hit on the head becasue you said no, its still abusive..hope this helped
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