Why does arguing make you so tired?

Answer 1

It's the incorrect use of your energy. You are arguing about something that doesn't need to be argued about. Let me be clear: there's no need to argue about ANYTHING. Why? Because you can't take anything anyone else does personally. NOthing that other person does is because of you; it's because of them and when you take it personally, you get angry and offended and then you get defensive and you have the need to make them wrong so you can be right and, before you know it, you're in an argument. You go round and round in circles and nobody comes out winning; both people come out tired. The reality is this: arguing doesn't serve a purpose. It's better to say to the other person, "Let's not fight about this. What do you need me to do?" Let them get it all off their chest. Ask again, "How can I make this situation better for you?" and then once they've said everything, you take your turn and say, "Now let me tell how you can help me make our relationship stronger. This is what I need from you. Can you do that?" Make it about the situation (because it's always about the situation) and don't make it about the other person and it won't be an argument. Once it gets personal, it's no longer about you; it's about them and then you're in for an argument. Get ready to be tired. Wasting energy will always leave you tired.