Why does your wife seem blinded to what she has done to you and your family while having an affair with a married man?

Answer 1

• Although there is no excuse for cheating on a spouse it is very apparent that your marriage lacked good communication skills and if you had both worked at communicating you would know how the other was feeling and could have worked on any problems before she cheated. She may feel justified in what she did because she 'may' have talked to you many times about the things she felt you were not giving her such as: attention; telling her you loved her; being a little more romantic; buying her flowers every so often or not sitting down and discussing every day issues. In other words it is possible on a daily basis you both passed each other like two ships in the night. The other possibility is she may act as if she is blinded by the affair because she has been treated better by the man she had the affair with and is holding onto those pleasant memories and thus clouding her poor judgment and she may well be depressed and confused. It would be wise to put your anger aside and sit down with your wife and discuss why she felt the need to cheat on you and then ask her if she would consider going to marriage counseling. A marriage counselor is not there to blame either of you, but to give you tools for good communication skills so you both can better work through problems in your married life. This issue between you and your wife should be kept between you and the rest of the family (parents, relatives) should be kept out of it. There is always two sides to every coin ... meaning that you may not have been the best husband you could have been. That being said there is still a chance if you and your wife go for a walk and discuss your feelings and seek help from a marriage counselor you could save your marriage.