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A spouse hiding money is lacking in integrity towards their marriage. It's compounded if you're seeing other red flags---changes in schedule, unusual phone calls or behavior on your husband's part--that are suggestive of an affair. You can't have a relationship that survives without mutual honesty and trust. Lying and secrecy add (as you've discovered) to resentment which will fester and grow. For the time being, keep your eyes open and be prepared--discovery tends to trickle in. Just gather up what you have, and stash it away. When you finally reach the point where you are convinced he is having an affair, then it will be time to take some action. Keep quiet as well; if your husband figures out what you are doing, he will simply go to further lengths to bury his activities.

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15y ago
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14y ago

* Sometimes it can be the environment in which the individual grew up such as being brought up in a very poor family environment or, parents that were on the frugal side. It can also be the way he was brought up that all money coming into the house is 'his' money and is to be doled out to his wife. You should sit your husband down and start communicating about how you feel about this as partners in marriage should consider that 'all' monies coming into the household are for the both of them and not just one. Ask him why he feels this way, but be sure to let him know you are not putting up with this type of behavior.

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Q: Why is your husband so secretive about money issues in your relationship?
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It is unethical and potentially illegal to try to find and access your husband's hidden money without his consent. If you have concerns about financial transparency in your relationship, consider seeking advice from a legal professional or counselor to address the issue openly and constructively. Trust and communication are key in a healthy relationship.


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