Why would a guy that you dated a while ago who hurt you call every couple of months to say he loves you and wants to be with you in a relationship but then disappear only to call again later?

Answer 1

I am currently going through the same situation. We broke up- he begged to meet me in person so we could talk. We talked he said he was very sorry and what he did to cause the breakup would never happen again. About 8 weeks have gone by since then and every week he will call once to two times and email me. We met 4 weeks ago and he asked that we give it another try: well me being in love, said ok, but then a week went by and no calls, emails, etc. Thought I was starting to move on. He started calling again, we met Wednesday ( he said he loves and realizes that he needs me and loves me-beggged to try again) We had plans to meet the same Friday, now it is monday and no call, no email. Why does he continue to do this- is my heart a revolving door? if he does not really want me then why does he continue to tell me he loves me and wants to work it out? He even gave a me a ring. So whats up with this disappearing act?

AnswerI need more info to answer. How old is he and why does he go away? AnswerHe is 27 now and I am 22. I'm not sure why he goes away, he always disappears and then calls back, makes plans, and then disappears again. When I ask what happened, he gets annoyed and offers an excuse, which makes no sense. The reason it doesnt make sense is that even if he couldn't make it, he could at least call and let me know. I'm just curious why someone would keep doing that if they aren't really interested (or if they are). He keeps saying he loves me and wants to be with me and commit, but every time we are supposed to hang out, he doesn't follow through. AnswerMy ex did the same thing and Im not sure if this is why yours is. My ex hid his drug addiction from me. He was into hard drugs and leading a double life. Perhaps this man really likes you but is just not capable of any real realtionship as he has to get drugs. It may be a llong shot. In my case I thought it was no way drugs. He acted anti drug. Or it could be is scared and doesnt feel good enough for you. What do you think in your heart? AnswerI dated a drug addict too when I was a teenager, and it's a horrible situation. I was in love with him and learned the hard way that sometimes you just have to let people go. You can't fix everything for everyone. The guy who keeps calling me is def not a druggie. I know the type, and it isn't him. He IS veyr insecure about some things though, and he has said before that I intimdate him (how I look and who I am). If he is scared I just wish he would take a chance! I think to take a chance and regret it is better than to NOT take a chance and regret that. AnswerHave you told him that you are for real and how you feel? AnswerHe knows that I have always been for real and have cared about him, but I told him that I am cautious about pursuing a relationship with him since he has hurt me before, but I never said I wouldn't. He know it isn't my nature to use people, or to be with people I don't care for, so I don't understand why he is acting this way. I've always been an honest and caring person. I don't htink that saying I feel cautious should be enough to drive him away.......and for him to change his number so I can't contact him either. It is like he is hiding, or has given up already. AnswerHas he called you since he changed his number? And why did he change his number? Dont be phoning and all that.let him come to you. AnswerNo, he hasn't called me since....and he has it done it before, also. The reason he gave me for the last time he changed his number was that a friend he had a falling out with kept calling him all the time. I thought that was kind of weird in and of itself. I don't doubt his honesty, but why not just tell the guy to go away? And why would he change his number again and then just disappear......again? I'm not really into this guy anymore, but it does bother me that he would act that way AnswerOK, I have to give input on this because I was in a similar situtaion as yourself. I met this guy when I was 20 (he was 26) and we dated for a about 1 year, nothing really serious. Things got rough cause I wanted more and he did the same thing by calling, then falling off the face of the earth. It turns out I wasted another year of my life waiting for him cause he had given me some hope. Nothing ever progressed with this, he was just playing games cause he had commitment issues. By the time I was 22, I had more than him (meaning a condo, a nice car, and a career; in other words, I was much better off than him) I think he was intimidated by me, and I let him put me in a vulnerable state. Now I am 25 and getting out of another bad relationship with an immature 28 year old. I have come to realize that I have allowed guys to let me down over and over, and it is time to break the cycle. My point is: do not let him string you along. You are too young to be going through this, and one day you are going to be mad at yourself for wasting so much time. Just let it go and find someone who is willing to act on their words of love, not run.