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Why would abusive partner just assume you are seeing a mutual aquaintance just because the man was cold to him when you are not even in touch with this other man in any way?
Alberta
Thanks for your advice. :) If you find that an abusive man is just assuming you have something going on with another man for no apparent reason, it could very well be that he has a serious paranoia problem, which can cause him to have severe reactions to minor happenings. Paranoia can be the result of a personality disorder and it is very dangerous. I should know, I was in a relationship with a man diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia and I believe a paranoid personality disorder as well. I ended up with a severe beating as a result of a man flicking his lights at me in a parking lot (I didn't even know the man), this caused a jealous reaction. It is a control issue and when these men feel they are losing control of you, look out! Take this red flag very seriously. I tolerated it for too long. Don't make the same mistake! I think it depends on what the abuser thinks. In my experience in an abusive relationship I think an abusive partner would assume you are seeing a mutual aquaintance even if you have no contact with him whatsoever because the abuser has a trust issue. I think your abusive partner is jealous of any contact you have with other men in general, not just with a particular guy. I think the fire he has burning inside him was not lit by you but rather it has been burning long before he met you. It all comes down to control. He wants to see how much he can convince you that you are doing something wrong and I'm sure he has a way of blaming you and making you feel responsible and guilty. I've been there and felt that rage from none other than my husband I am currently separated from. It is not your fault. You have done nothing wrong no matter how much he tries to convince you. In my opinion if he feels he is not in control then he will belittle you and make you feel like you deserve to be treated badly. If you feel you are being abused than you are. You are not to blame. Just remember you have done nothing wrong and you are worth more than how he is treating you. You should find someone who will cherish you for the amazing woman you are. I had a boyfriend who did the same stuff. It is a major red flag of more reality bending to come. In any case, there are just too many "why's" and you have no control over those! My guess is that he is insecure and perceives slights when there are none. You have no explanation because there is not one to have...and shouldn't be. You can't fix his place in society--
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∙ 16y ago
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