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embarassment EVERYONE should go on the web and learn about the "Cycle of Abuse" because sooner or later you are going to know someone that is either mentally or physically abused. The main reason both men and women of abuse say little is fear; they have been brain-washed into thinking it's all their fault and they deserve it and if a man he is terrified if he utters being physically or verbally abused his friends will wonder what kind of man is he. Remember, men are brought up to not hit a woman. The victim may not be ready to take that big giant leap to see a counselor or go to an Abused Women's Center (there are programs for men too.) Victims of abuse have low self esteem and are basically feeling trapped. They know if they confide in a friend what that friend will say "Get out of the relationship." It isn't that easy and some abusers can be vendictive, so when one of us should offer the advice it's important that they have a trusted friend or family member behind them before they make plans to leave the abuser.

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โˆ™ 2007-03-10 21:44:58
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Q: Why would an individual in an abusive relationship try to hide the abuse?
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If you are in an abusive relationship can your therapist report it?

My understanding is that it is protected under your confidentiality agreement. A therapist would not go to the authorities without your consent. But that might be something that you should consider. Abusive relationships are unhealthy, and by submitting to the other person's abuse you are only enabling him to abuse you further.


Why would an individual in an abuse relationship try to hide the abuse?

if they had low self asteem, and their partner abused them, they think that they will never find love again, so they stay in the loveless relationship because they are afraid of being alone.


Is she being abusive if she's calling me bad names?

That would be verbal abuse.


Should you go back to abusive relationship?

Why would you even think about going back to an abusive relationship? Unless you want to get beat on for the rest of your life.


Im in an abusive relationship and its more mental than physical will a shelter acceppt me if i dont have any proof of abuse?

It would depend on the shelter, but it's extremely likely that they would accept without proof.


How can you ignore the honeymoon phase of an abusive relationship?

The word ignore does not belong in the same sentence with the word abuse. I have never heard of a honeymoon phase, what exactly is this. The honeymoon in a healthy relationship can last as long as the two people want, its what they put into it. Get therapy or counseling on why you would accept this and dont delay. You are not supposed to ignore an abusive relationship that is how they abuser gains power over time......


What are common characteristics of abusers?

Mental abuse: when the abusive person would say "I love you", call you something mean (such as a name), say something sweet and then trash you again. Physical abuse: touching in an abusive manner (obviously). Verbal abuse: very similar to mental abuse.


Why it's difficult to leave an abusive relationship?

There's a mulititude of reasons why it would be hard to leave an abusive relationship. In many cases it's psychological. Sometimes it's that the abused party in the relationship begins to feel like they deserve the abuse they recieve. Sometimes they reason with themselves, like..."Only one more time. I'll give them one more chance." and repeat this every time.


How can once being in an abusive relationship affect future relationships Distrust of people how will the past abuse affect your lifestyle any unhealthy signs to watch for?

Some one who does not understand BDSM posted "being into bdsm is an unhealthy sign" this is a lie. All studies of people into BDSM have shown that most people into BDSM are happy normal people who just have kinks to there life. Most people who are into abusive relationships never get into BDSM relationships. If someone is into BDSM and there is also a abusive relationship going on all you need to do is look for the normal signs of a abusive relationship. Most BDSM couples for the most part have happy and healthy relationships but have a relationship that looks more like the idealized ones from the 1950's and may add play that would look abusive from the outside but is truly not. What I would tell people is take time to talk to both parties and look for the signs of an abusive relationship.


How do you go on after abuse?

I would think you would want to end the relationship after that


Why would someone be nice toward some but abusive toward a good friend?

More than likely that person does not want anyone to know that they are being abusive to someone. They also like to have control and power over that person. The person who is being abused needs to get out of that relationship, also, the one doing the abuse needs to seek help to see why they are abusive. I hope that this helps. God Bless:)


Why would people continue to be abusing to others?

People would continue to be abusive to others for many reasons. A couple of reasons could include: alcohol abuse, drug abuse and certain mental disorders.


Why would a person be in an abusive relationship?

Answer: Because abuse is about control. The victim is in the relationship because they feel an emotional connection to the abuser and they have been "trained" to think that it's the victims fault. Answer: Most people don't have any idea that that's the kind of relationship they just got in or some people are really despereat


How do you know if you are in a mentally abusive relationship?

Review the warning signs and decide for yourself. A mentally abusive relationship caused two 'feelings' in me. I reacted with confusion to a pattern of speech that my abuser would use. The purpose of the mental abuse is to instill self doubt in you and then you are easier to control. The second re-action I had was a type of emotional numbness. This came after a period of crazy making verbal abuse. If you feel confused around your abuser and then notice a numbness that is a good clue that your are bing mentally manipulated.


How do you deal with an abusive relationship?

Get out of it. That would be my first step. then I would tell someone i trusted, like a family member. I would work with them to figure out what my next step should be, and most of the time it should probably be getting law enforcement involved. If you're in an abusive relationship, definitely start by getting out of there.


Can avoiding an abusive argument be giving the abuser approval for his abusive behavior?

I can speak from experience but no two relationships are the same. I agree this could spark problems for the abuser to handle but if it truly is a violent relationship then i would not advise aggravating the situation unless my bags were packed and the engine running. Most abusive relationships are built on intimidation and control by standing up for yourself by reading and flaunting articles about abuse could cause a bad situation to become worse or or a week relationship to fall apart.


How do abuse counselors deal with siblings who get so intense that you wonder if they will end up like your abusive parent?

Victims of abuse are angry as hell, but often suppress it. So, I would think the counselor would treat the patient for anger and being the victim of abuse. The two go hand in hand. It's wise, if one grows up in a verbally/physical abusive household to seek out help by a professional so they can break that chain of abuse. We learn from our environment.


How can one leave their mentally abusive spouse and not have to worry about losing their 2 kids to the spouse?

If you can prove that he's been mentally abusive (statements and letters from friends or family would help) then it would be up to a judge to decide whether the children should be subjected to a mentally abusive father. By the way, there are some who believe that allowing children to witness the physical or mental abuse between parents is actually a form of child abuse.


How do you get out of an abusive relationship when he is a good father?

If your kids are young and adorable, then he will remain a good father for now and just be abusive against his partner. But when the kids get older and tougher to handle in their teenage years, then there is a pretty good chance that the father will become abusive against them as well. Most abuse comes from the fear of losing control.The children aren't safe, they as well are at risk, that would be enough of an argument to pack your bags.


How do you get out of a verbally abusive relationship when the abuser is a cop?

Well if you're afraid no one will believe you get a little camera hide it somewhere and if he starts beating you up you will have proof. Then take it to the cops and he will go to jail and you move somewhere far away and start a new life. Verbal abuse can be as harmful as physical abuse and should not be tolerated by anyone, especially someone who represents law enforcement. But you know that already. The question is, would you stay with him if he weren't abusive? If you love him and want the relationship to get better, perhaps you could think about couples counseling.


Is mental abuse a crime?

Is the individual being abused a child, incompetent or elderly? Yes, It is a crime Is the individual being abused a competent adult? No abuse (thou I would recommend a mental evaluation if such abuse is being allowed)


When do you know when to break off an abusive relationship?

I would say as quickly as possible before it gets out of hand!


How do you get your ex back after abusive relationship?

Well why would you want your ex back if he/she abused you or if you abused them? MOVE ON!


What are the ill effects of a abusive maternal relationship?

For a man, he would not have the mother to be a good role model on how he should treat women. For the woman, she would not be able to have a mother to guide her in becoming a confident female. The effect of having an abusive maternal relationship could take years to sort through.


How would a narcissistic abusive ex-husband react to the fact that you reported him for warrants to the police and he is now in jail?

with more abuse and anger towards you