Would a Narcissist likely make a long-term plan to keep you ignorant of his real lives so that you remain a Supply Source for years or are they usually short-term planners?

Answer 1

I can only add from my experience with the N I know. He moves from one situation to the other so quickly, starting and stopping, starting and stopping...getting frustrated if he can't tweak it to his liking or make it turn out the way he wants (perfect), abandoning project after project with a statement like, "nothing ever turns out right for me...it figures, just my luck, why can't anything go right for me", and then he gives up only to start another heart-rending drama or project. Narcissists are adrenaline junkies, without the patience and fortitude to complete any relationship or project. They don't even have a proverbial "calm before the storm", they are just "storming" through one thing after another all the time! If they do finish something successfully, darned if they don't lose interest in it and abandon it, and then they cut it down as being too easy, or too boring, not worth the effort, or last but not least...the statement "Yeah, but it didn't turn out the way I wanted!". I am so glad I did not marry my N, it truly would have been disastrously downhill from there! Can you imagine? Peace all, mbme Ummmmm..... ya, lol. My N would have kept me ignorant till one of us died. Now, that said... it was one of his mistesses stupid f'up's that got him caught. (Or.... maybe she thought he'd have to make a choice between us, and she'd win?) He lied to her too, btw.... for 7 years. He probably lied to a hundred or more women in that span of time. Now he's ready to throw her under a bus. She'll lose her job and probably never work in her industry again. Some love affair, huh? Just know that an N's life is one dizzying lie after another, don't think of it as long term. Think of it as who they are at the core of their damaged beings. They live to mask a void and to escape pain. Like the rest of us.... only it's WHO they are. Not something they do. They don't think about who they hurt or the consequences of those actions. It's like a robot mindlessly wrecking havoc in other people's lives. Nothing positive is gained. It's all about sustaining an illusion. If they need you..... you'll get your fair share. If they don't.... they don't bother with you. Tremusan From my experience they will string you along for however long you will believe it. My N ex came back in my life after an 8 mo absence from when we divorced. I thought we might be reconciling because we were getting along so well and we weren't fighting like we used to. I would then start to ask about where this was going and he would say just take it day by day or lets enjoy don't analyze. Then I would ask what would it take for us to get back together and he would say that I would have to complete school and get a job before he would consider us getting back together. He said because he wanted to make sure that I would be able to support our son if something were to happen to him. I fell for that hook line and sinker. I thought he was being serious and I was gonna graduate pretty soon so I knew we would be together. Get this we dated for about 3 mos then he dumps me like as if we never started talking again. Later I find out he dumped me for a girl he just met off the internet and is also in school, divorced, probably no job (you can't work and be with him all the time its impossible:) and kid. Oh yeah she was in the military like me and the same age I was when he conned me. So yeah they will tell you whatever they think you want to hear to keep the hope alive. BS! Me and the chick are similar, he just grew bored with me and I knew him well enough to know he could't get away with playing games with me anymore. So he jumpted ship into someone elses boat who is also in school and probably no job. You catchin on here:)