The insect that looks like a fly but has no wings and has black with white stripes and looks like a cross between a spider and a fly is namely, Jerusalem cricket.
A garden cross spider, Araneus diadematus. Source: Google search for spider cross back
a spider known as a cross spider usaually found in the uk
A spider-ant.
A spider-wolf.
The answer to the joke is Spider monkey.
Sac spider Scorpion Tailed Spider St. Andrews Cross Spider Spitting Spider Stick Spider
Araneus diadematus(AKA cross spider) is the only spider i can think of that i know of that is brown/black and has a cross on its back. Here are some photos. http://www.nicksspiders.com/nicksspiders/araneusdiadematus.htm
Earwigs are shaped like ants but have pincers on the head. They resemble scorpions at this end of the body.
Have seen a very small spider with 4 white dots and 1 red dot. Not a red back. Ta ~Snaff
A spiderilla.
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