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Your 11 year old boy has asked you to spank him when he is naughtyhe would rather get the punishment over and done with should you accede to his request?
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∙ 11y ago
One Opinion
Disclaimer, and appeal to avoid a flame war: I'm assuming based on the wording of the question that the person who asked it has spanked their son in the past and is okay with it as a parenting practice in general terms, even if they're unsure about this situation. Arguing for or against spanking as such would seem to be off topic.
My first thought is, if he hates being grounded so much that he'd rather be spanked, that probably means the grounding is an effective punishment, which is an argument for continuing with it. On the other hand, if he's mostly a good kid, there's something to be said for listening to a request like this if it seems reasonable. Having a kid who's grounded can be a disruption to the family schedule, and getting a punishment over with quickly is pleasant all around. If you did decide to start spanking him again, I would have three main concerns. First, he's right on the border between being a little kid and a teenager, and not very far from hitting puberty. You need to watch out for potential problems with modesty or sexuality which could come up, even if he's not currently aware of them. Second, depending on how long ago you stopped spanking him, he may think it would be an easy way out, or have unrealistic expectations. A spanking he gets at age 11 would likely need to be much more severe than what he got before, and he would need to understand this going into it. Third, if the spanking hurts more than he remembers or expects, he might try to change his mind and go back to being grounded. That's not necessarily unreasonable, but a kid shouldn't be able to just dictate a change in his own punishments whenever he feels like it. I would probably offer to let him take a spanking just to see what it's like, then if he still wants to go with that instead of grounding, agree to do it that way for some period of time, maybe six months or a year, before re-evaluating.
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∙ 11y ago
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