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Living in the US being 21 is the real milestone not 18. So I believe that you still are. Debutante parties are for to society see you (officially) as an adult. Most people believe maturity is reached at the age of 18 but we all know that's not true. Since 21 is much more mature than 18 I'll go for it and since you've never had a debutante ball it will be your oficial debut to society.

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Q: I am 20 years old and I am going to be 21 on August 16 2009 I wanted a debutante at 18 but that didn't happen. So I was wondering am I still allowed to have a debutante ball at the age of 21?
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