What is the stage of your relationship?

Answer 1

I don't know what better way to ask this question than to give a summary of my relationship.

Here's the setup: me, known as K, is an international student attending UW (Seattle). She, known as H, is a US immigrant (she just got her citizenship a few months ago), just graduated from UCI.

It started on Jun 14 when I decided to go to Laguna Beach with a friend from middle School. I met a bunch of his friends, all single guys and girls. I did not pay much as much attention to H as to the other girls, because she was not physically as attractive as the other girls. After that day, I just went back to Seattle where I saw that she has made a facebook friend request. We then started talking, on facebook, and Google talk, and occasionally skype (when I wanna sing a song to her).

I did not have any intention to have a romantic relationship with her, and I just talked to her, mostly about myself, my opinions, things I do in college, games I played, movies I watched, and random things (for example: I just exchanged a backpack at REI and I left my wallet in the old one); she mostly play the role of the listener. She did not talk much about herself, but about what she was currently doing. I guess the share of talking is 3:2 where I got 3.

We really enjoyed talking to each other since June till November. In fact, she told me that she felt weird and missing for some day we did not talk.

During Fall quarter 2010, I had a crush on this girl, C, in my chemistry class. I told mostly everyone I talked to about it but H. Eventually, on Thanksgiving, I told H about it. There was a slight shift in the way we talked. She told me that I should ask C out, and that I never know what would happen if I don't try. Then she told me that if only she had taken her own advice before. I told her that there are 2 sides of every story, and the good side for me and H is that we could talk days and nights, and we could not otherwise if she had a bf now. She then said that if she had taken her own advice, then I and she would still be talking right now. After a while, I asked her if I was the person she was thinking about, and she said "Yes..."

I then questioned myself if I like her, and I decided to fly to Orange County last Xmas. When I was looking for the ticket, she was very eager to help me. Eventually Winter break came, and I flew to OC. We had 10 great days together. We hung out every night. I cooked a dinner, and I asked her and some of her friends to come over one day. The other days she brought spring rolls over just for me, or we went to In-n-Out. Three days before I left, I told her how I feel about her, and I want her to be my girlfriend. She told me that she was feeling awkward at that question. I was then kinda "ohkay..," when she interrupted me and stressed that she did not say NO. We were alone in my room at that time. I did not talk much, but just looked at each other, and held and rubbed our hands. We kept doing that until we had to go out for BBQ with some friends.

The day before I should go back, she gave me hug. Coincidentally, my flight got canceled, so we had another night together. We went home, and did the same routine of holding hands. Eventually she had to go home. I walked her to her car, and hug her strongly, and whispered into her ear "I'll be back soon."

I came back to Seattle. Life was good. We kept communicating, and we used a lot of endearment terms. Until one day I noticed that she sometimes ignored my questions, and she did not talk much. I brought this to her attention (in a very emotional fashion). At the same time I told her that I miss her a lot. I made some poems for her. She told me that she felt something strange, and that we should have a week no talking. After that 1 week. I told her what I had been doing during that time, and that I miss her a lot. She then told me about her previous bf. She said it was a coincident that when we stopped talking, she found her ex's facebook. She was wondering if she should add him, so she did, but without any response. She then removed the request. She stressed that she has moved on long ago, just that why he did not talk to her. She said it was unfair that during that 1 week I was missing her, and she was sad about someone else. I said it's okay, and that I can wait for as long as she needs. She said she was still in the process or sorting out her feeling for me.

We then got back to our normal conversation with endearment terms. And 4 days later, she gave me the moment of truth. She told me that the 1-week was for me to cool down my feeling, that it may just be an impulse. She thought that I would miss her less, and was surprised that I miss her a lot more. She again said that she is still sorting out her feeling. She told me to not miss her too much, and to focus on school. After that, she dropped all the endearments, and just only responds to my messages without asking me anything back.