What steps should an abused wife take to start divorce proceedings?

Answer 1

Create some additional safety before you go: get a post office box for ALL of your mail, put codes on all of your utilities so he cannot access the information, create new bank accounts without his name on them, and so on. If you have a computer or other financial information, keep it in a secure place. Change the locks on the door. If you have a good sensible friend, follow her advice.

You can find detailed guidance regarding how to divorce a narcissistic or psychopathic abuser in these pages:

I am assuming you have already left, or he has, and you are in a safe environment. If this is not the case, you need to rectify that immediately. If you cannot afford private counsel there are many attorneys who work pro bono for domestic violence shelters, battered womens organizations etc. You should have no trouble finding the contact info. in your local phone directory. If you need a safe place to stay they can assist you with that also. I know it isn't easy, been there,done that. Please feel free to email me if you like. Good Luck

I am in Canada and I do not know where you are, however, I can let you know what I did when leaving my abusive druggie husband. First of all I made up my mind that no matter how scared I was I was going to get outa the nightmare and get a new life. I then called legal aid, made an appt. They referred me to a lawyer. She got the whole thing going. It was easy because we have nothing to divide. I then kicked him out of our place and he was served divorce papers. My divorce is now final. He wont pay child support but I am glad to be free of him. I just kept telling myself that I had to preserve myself and my daughter's self esteem and freedom and happiness. The only way that could ever of happened was to divorce him. Divorce is not as scary as the word seems really. I have kept myself safe. I dont go anywhere too isolated or alone. I also did not challenge him by starting any arguments as theres no point. Once its over just move on, you got nothing to prove and who cares what he thinks anyways. Now I am broke but I was in the marriage as he spent all the money. At least now I can feed my daughter and myself. Good luck to you.

I have read the above comments and they are full of brilliant advice. Keep safe is the message. That is your priority. Divorceing or leaving an abusive partner can be dangerous. I've been there and it's tough, but I got through it. Take care.