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I agree, what a great husband. Menopause is a very difficult time for a woman and for her family and friends. I can speak as a woman going through it myself. It is awful to feel that you are not in control of your emotions and moods. The physical symptoms are difficult as well, I know they are different for everyone, but hot flashes and always feeling tired have been difficult for me. I agree that reading and learning all you can is key. As symptoms vary among women and can last for a substantial amount of time before they run their course, I also suggest that women and their partners also seek professional counseling. Even one or two brief sessions can be helpful for the woman and her spouse. I would suggest seeking counseling from a professional that is experienced dealing with menopause, that could be a doctor or a counselor. Many women and men feel isolated during this time and feel like they don't have anyone to talk to so I would suggest finding a counselor in your local area or even an online counselor. I know that iTherapyRX.com has counselors that can help. Support groups or online forums can also be helpful. Anything you can do to create a supportive environment will make this easier for everyone.

AnswerWOW!!!!! WHAT A GUY! You deserve a medal my friend! I mean it! to Not many men would be so intuitive towards this part of their wife's life.

Oh do I know what you are talking about and I feel for you! LOL What I did with my husband was got a good book on menopause and my husband read it. Knowledge is everything. Let her know you are interested in what she is going through. You will understand eventually that she's going through a rough time and her hormones are the culprits and sometimes she can't help the moods she is in. These are some of the symptoms of menopause:

  • Hot flashes. They are hot one minute peeling off their sweater and putting something cooler on, and the next minute they are cold. The wife may even put the heat up in the house to a stifling degree and then have the house freezing cold.
  • Moodiness and depression.
  • Insomnia
  • Not wanting to sleep with you because she get's too hot in bed and will have the covers on her briefly then get hot and flip the covers off. Many women going through this will sleep in another bed or on the couch.
  • Low libido (not wanting to have sex at all at times). Furthest thing from their minds. This is due to hormonal changes and has nothing to do with you.
  • Thinking they are fat and unattractive and baiting you with these questions. You won't win! LOL If you tell them you love them no matter what or they aren't fat they will tell you that you are compromising them and not telling them the truth.
  • She does not need a psychiatrist unless she feels like she is out of control or the feeling of 'going crazy' (hormones or antidepressants will take care of this.)
  • Some women feel going through menopause means they are old, unattractive and life is over. This is not true and, in fact, for the first time some women can use this time in their lives to do the things they've always wanted to do and the sky is the limit. Menopause is NOT a disease but a stage of life. By the way men go through something similar (fewer side effects) called 'Andropause.'
  • Suggest to her you would really like to understand things better and would like to go with her to her next doctors appointment. The two of you should sit down with the doctor and go over it all. The doctor may suggest Hormone Replacement Therapy (pill or patch) and as long as it's only short-term it's relatively safe, but long-term is NOT safe and can lead to heart disorders, blood clots and Breast cancer. The other alternative is Homeopathic medicine so you could suggest this to her.
  • Try to help around the house if you can. She will get bouts of lethargy and feel like just sitting around doing nothing. Encourage her to go out with her girlfriends and YOU take her out for the odd nice dinner, perhaps a concert or a movie. Flowers help too within reason. Have friends over or visit friends and this keeps both your minds occupied and away from the problems at hand.

Now you have to pick a good time to sit down with your wife and tell her you would like to read up on Menopause (or if you are computer knowledgeable go on the internet. Put in www.Google.com Then ask: Menopause. You will find much information off the web. Take time to talk to her, but if she is constantly unreasonable with you, then sit down and tell her you understand the best you can what is going on with her and you're making the best effort possible to help, but you are not her whipping post and to knock it off! She may yell at you or she may calm down and realize you aren't going to take her constant nagging or bad moods. She CAN control some of these moods and if she feels one coming on she can go off some place to cool off.

When I had bad moods during my menopause (went through it naturally) I would go into another room or get out of the house to cool off and sometimes my husband would. Heated arguments are no way to handle this.

Hang in there because it doesn't last forever! I suggest you also sit down with your wife and plan a nice romantic get away in the future.

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12y ago

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