How to deal with a sociopath?

Answer 1

Here is some advice and input: * The best way to help a sociopath: If you are married to one give him/her an ultimatum of either getting help or ending it (the relationship). Hopefully, you have support from family and friends that will help you through this. As you are probably aware, a sociopath believes their own lies and does not think that they are a problem. They think everyone else is the problem. If you have any children, then the best thing you can do for them is get out of the relationship, especially if your partner has no interest in going for therapy. I did and still have four children, and my biggest mistake was believing that things were going to get better, and I kept trying harder and harder. My two teens have many problems now and are both in therapy. My 15 year-old especially has no respect for me and thinks that I am the liar because, as you might know, the sociopath can be very manipulative. I also have been going for therapy, and my therapist told me that in order for a sociopath to get help they need to go for A LOT of intensive therapy sessions, and they have to want to get help. Most of the time they do not get help because they do not think they have a problem. My exhusband tells me that he just has issues with me he doesn't need to get help. "I am the crazy one." I have heard it all. No matter what your situation is at this moment I was there to I have four children two that have autism. If you partner is not willing to go and get help GET OUT! Do whatever you have to do especially if you have children. You don't want them to grow up to become like your partner and repeat the cycle. There are a lot of resources out there check them out if you don't have a support system. Its been about 2 years now I don't have much contact with my ex, and I have never felt better. It's like being let out of prison! I promise you will feel the same way. Maybe not at first, but you will. Life is too short to spend it with someone that treats you badly, and you will discover life is wonderful and fun and you won't look at a new day dreadfully as you once did. My suggestion is to tell them to get help if they are sincere, and if they do it then great! It's going to take a while. Remember, they did not become that way in a day, but if they don't want to get help, then GET OUT! * Most "experts" say that there is no help for a sociopath. They are born that way and will die that way. It is best to avoid them. * You cannot help a sociopath. They are incurable, manipulative and inherently evil. My only advice is this: -Avoid them at all costs. Even if it is family involved. -Set some rules. Tell family members that you want nothing to do with their issues and that you dont want to hear about her. When they start fighting amongst themselves just stay out of it. Completely! -Hope to God that whomever is with her will wake up and see what they are involved with. This will take some time, but rest assured that a true sociopath will eventually destroy her own marriage. Their life goes in cycles. You my friend, are unfortunatly just a temporary rest stop on their lifelong road to destruction. * I know there must be some way to have at least some improvement. I am bipolar and my medication helps me but doesn't fix me. Nothing will ever take my disease away. And I imagine that it is the same way for people who are sociopaths. * The book "The SocioPath Next Door" did wonders for me. * Sociopaths are taught at a very young age that they are close to worthless. They believe this and they then reject love and don't really understand it. They say, no no no I really don't deserve your love, I'll even prove it and then they do something horrible like lie or cheat or leave you. It has been said numerous times that the patient has to want treatment. That is probably the first and most difficult hurdle. But with enough love and faith and preserverence, I think you can help them. * Even psychologists must assess their patients in a scientific, controlled manner to have any hope in attaining accuracy. Our society should keep self-help books to rule our own actions and cease trying to apply limited, contextual information to label and control others for our own advantage. * Sociopaths, though born that way, are people too. To avoid an entire group of people is absurd. That's like saying, "Since these people have dark skin, everyone should completely avert themselves from them." I am a moderate sociopath, and though part of me doesn't want to change, another does. Many times it is really entertaining to see how stupid people can be, especially when they're so gullible as to believe every word that mellifluously flows from my lips. Yes, I am parasitic, but even so, there are some people I would like to stop hurting. I can't find any websites that can provide a way to help my sociopathy. Maybe people like you should stop your self-victimisation and start trying to actually help people like me! I knew I was a sociopath before the age of ten but have only recently had it officially diagnosed. I am eighteen years old now, and I have been lying and destroying others' sanity for a long time. So, please post some helpful tidbits that might help sociopaths resist the sweet urges we get when we encounter weak human beings. When you cut us, do we not bleed? When you kill us, do we not die? Do you honestly think that you're being lied to and manipulated when we sincerely ask for help. Listen to yourselves! This is the internet; ergo, you're safe from our fortified mental grasp. * I don't think there's enough support on the internet for the children of sociopaths. Lots of adult women are dating and marrying them. Not so many kids are trying to detach from them. I would like to change that.

Answer 2

If you mean help the victim of a sociopath - one way might be to have them read some books on the subject. One that is very effective: Snakes in Suits about Sociopaths in the workplace by Paul Babiak and Robert Hare. If however you are asking how to help a sociopath- that is a much harder question - primarily becasue tohelp anyone with any sort of mental disorder they have to accept that somethingis amiss. Sociopaths don't as a rule but if they will see a psychiatrist it might help.Answerim told you cant its a case of having no concience about what you do read a book called i think it called living with a lia let me get back on that AnswerI'm assuming you mean how you can help someone who was victimized by a sociopath.

First of all you have to be SUPER supportive. A person who was (or is) involved with a sociopath is basically brainwashed. The victim will have no self esteem and just like a brainwashed person, will believe everything the socipath has told them. You have to counteract this brainwashing. For example, did the sociopath husband constantly tell his wife that she is stupid or useless? As her friend, you'd have to constantly remind the wife that she is an intelligent, valuable person who has a lot of potential and a great future. Or, did the sociopath tell constantly point out nothing but bad traits about his daughter? You have to constantly tell the daughter great things about herself -- to counteract what the sociopath has done. You have to lay this praise on thick. More than you would for an average person.

What has helped me a lot (in my healing from a relationship with a sociopath) is talking to friends and reading, reading, reading about others who have been in my situation and survived and how they healed and got on with their lives. If you know the victim of a sociopath, get him or her books on the subject of moving on from a controlling person or a sociopath, and surviving verbal (and/or physical) abuse.

Don't rush the healing. But don't allow wallowing either. Don't say things like, "get over it" or "you should be happy that he's gone" or "get on with your life." These things will come by themselves. With time. Be sympathetic. And patient.

All of what said above is very true and by being "Super Supportive", let me clarify. You will truly have to be as self sacrificing of your time and patience with the victim as possible. The best possible thing for the victim is your knowledge of the subject, "what is a sociopath". Unless you understand what your victim is dealing with, you are no help whatsoever. (WARNING: This knowledge will test your faith and will cause you to have to deal with new and surprising negative feelings about humanity). Next, keep reminding the victim that they are an actual victim, because they are such a good person, because they are trustworthy, because they openly trust others, because they have no experience with a person with no conscience, because they have a conscience and real feelings and the capacity to love that this predator has not and NEVER WILL.

Whatever, you do- DO NOT LET THIS PERSON RECONCILE with the predator, unless it is advised for strategic legal reasons. DO NOT LET THIS PERSON ARGUE OR TRY TO COMMUNICATE their feelings with the predator. The same results can be achieved by talking to a house plant.

Finally convince them to seek out further therapy for confirmation from an expert and help them build strong boundaries within their relationships. Last but not least PRAY, for everyone, even the predator.

Answer 3

If you are a sociopath, you probably are resistant to the idea of change.

Robert Hare, PhD., says that the personality of a sociopath (psychopath) is essentially set in stone, so to speak, by adulthood, and incredibly hard to change.

But some keep trying to help them; giving up is not an option. Sociopaths cause too much trouble.

A good therapist can prevent you from victimizing him/her withoutvictimizing you in the process. And recent studies made byneurosurgeons and other medical experts have finally begun to pinpointthe things that go awry in the brain that are part of what causessociopathy. In some cases, such medications as Depakote, Topamax, andeven Lithium are being prescribed, and although some individualtherapists prescribe Ativan and the like, much more research needs Tobe done there on ultimate benefit of drug treatment. It is alreadyknown that drug treatment must be augmented by a very structured andpositive-oriented talk therapy.

Sociopaths can get somewhere in talk therapy if the clinician isself-confident and relaxed, firm but never authoritarian orself-important. It must not ever become an ego-contest. Once theprocess gets far enough along so that the sociopath is actually able tofeel even a tiny flicker of genuine happiness, that is an impetus thatwill grow stronger if the process continues to move forward.

But a sociopath seeking this must be warned that at some point quitewell along in the process of therapy, there will be an interval inwhich all the newly developing strength is called upon to endure verydeep and long-buried pain. Sticking to it through that takes a verystrong will.

The therapist must repeatedly remind the patient that the process willalso reward him or her with better and better feelings, ultimatelybecoming its own reward: that terrible emptiness called 'boredom' beingreplaced by feeling, both painful and joyous.

In cases where brain damage is too severe to permit of this on its own,new developments in technology in the next decades will bringimplantable devices that may be able to be used in the brain, alongwith other means including synthetic replacement neurotransmitters, tocarry nerve impulses along paths formerly silent and unused in thesociopath's brain. Although such devices would have to be used withextreme care to avoid causing violent convulsive seizures, some of theanti-convulsant medications that are already being prescribed tosociopaths in test trials could possibly prevent this unwelcomeside-effect.

In the present, therapy is hard to come by for anybody notextremely wealthy, and for sociopaths, many of whom are unable to work,it is even that much harder to find help. But it exists. And, lookingat some observations posted at other similar questions by others, onecan see that a very popular opinion is that sociopaths, psychopaths,are all "evil" and undeserving of help!

One very important point, therefore, is that, most certainly, no onehelps sociopaths by repeatedly calling them 'evil'! That kind ofresponse cannot possibly help anyone. A sociopath before treatmentcannot trust anyone and must learn the fundaments of trust andinteraction between people. No one who is persuaded to believe that heor she is just plain bad can sustain any hope for change. It becomes avicious cycle: the sociopath, being told he or she is evil and cannotbe helped, gives up, and in frustration and anger lashes out again atpeople, and in response to that, people say that their original pointis proven.

The main reason sociopaths don't usually seek help is that they can'ttrust, rather than that they like being as they are. Plus, they canoften sense exactly what sort of a response any call for help on theirpart is most likely to elicit from professionals and lay folk alike.Sociopaths are not breezing along in paradise. It isn't all a game.It's a truly miserable existence. And it can be made better. It may notbe "curable" yet, but it most certainly isn't as hopeless as so manypeople say. There is therefore nothing to be gained and much to be lostwhen therapists and lay folk try to ostracize sociopaths from the humanrace entirely! Sensationalism and superstition will only preventprogress.

This was written on another question on the same essential topic as this one, by a self-confessed sociopath (other than me!) --

• Sociopaths, though born that way, are people too. To avoid anentire group of people is absurd. That's like saying, "Since thesepeople have dark skin, everyone should completely avert themselves fromthem." I am a moderate sociopath, and though part of me doesn't want tochange, another does. Many times it is really entertaining to see howstupid people can be, especially when they're so gullible as to believeevery word that mellifluously flows from my lips. Yes, I am parasitic,but even so, there are some people I would like to stop hurting. Ican't find any websites that can provide a way to help my sociopathy.Maybe people like you should stop your self-victimisation and starttrying to actually help people like me! I knew I was a sociopath beforethe age of ten but have only recently had it officially diagnosed. I ameighteen years old now, and I have been lying and destroying others'sanity for a long time. So, please post some helpful tidbits that mighthelp sociopaths resist the sweet urges we get when we encounter weakhuman beings. When you cut us, do we not bleed? When you kill us, do wenot die? Do you honestly think that you're being lied to andmanipulated when we sincerely ask for help. Listen to yourselves! Thisis the internet; ergo, you're safe from our fortified mental grasp.

The essay that follows was written in another answer by anotherself-admitted sociopath, who actually might not be a sociopath. Stillanother person added the brief comment to that effect after her tragic essay.

• umm... i kindof am one... just so y'all know, it's not so muchfun being one either. i read that sentence up there, "Incapable of realhuman attachment to another." i don't even know what that is, i see it,i approximate it... it's like being outside a door looking through adirty window and watching re-runs of people I've seen in love or withchildren or with friends, and scratching, sometimes banging at theglass to get in and... nothing. I'm fond of people in every sense ofthe word, their little quirks and habits, the way they see life, exceptif they went away it wouldn't bother me much other than finding someoneelse to be fond of. i don't have friends, i only date military menbecause they're ok with only having a girlfriend for a couple monthsand i tell them in advance i won't wait for them... i don't know whatelse to do to limit the damage i inflict on others just as a result ofthem knowing me, short of moving to the mountains... but i still movebetween 2-5 times a year :( it's kindof hard walking around knowingi'll never have what i see making other people so happy and runningwhen i can tell someone is getting close just because i don't want tohurt them more later down the road... i'd like it alot to settle down,i WANT to be able to feel more with people, but it's hard to miss whatyou never had. i want what i THINK it would feel like... it'd be easyto give in and let someone stay because I'm so lonely... but hey, i'vewritten enough, just know i try to be a responsible little sociopath, iwon't ever get married or have kids, i practice safe sex, i won't stayin one city for long... everything you all take for granted i willnever let myself have just because i WANT to take it for granted. beinglike this won't go away so hopefully i can limit the amount of hatethrown my way by limiting my interaction with people, i don't know whatelse to do. and you all might not belive this, but i am sorry,hopefully i can speak for the other people who have damaged your lives.

Comment: The above testimony is clearly not indicative of asociopath because they seem to make efforts to keep from harmingothers, even if it doesn't benefit themselves.

Answer 4

Just keep asking yourself, "What do they want from me?" As soon as you can no longer answer that question - and they're still around - you have a problem. Most paths are never content with just "being", it's always about wanting and getting.

To help, try imagine you only felt two primary feelings in life: desire, and satisfaction. Now imagine what you'd desire, and what hoops you'd jump through to get it, and there you have someone without love. my spouse has 30 of 31 signs

Answer 5

As a self identified sociopath i would say yes you most certainly can help them

There is a misconception I see and hear a lot, that lack of empathy makes someone inherently bad. While it certainly steers (seemingly) most affected to negative behavioral patterns it can in fact be a good thing. All you have to do is convince the individual that helping others who's company they appreciate is in their own interest, and that manipulation and subversion almost always have negative consequences and while give the empowerment the individual craves, they are not worth the stress of maintaining the likely spiraling situation.

Even to a sociopath there is a thrill from peoples appreciation you for your company skills and support. This said i find even now after a lot of effort i find it hard not to see myself as somehow superior to those governed by their emotions. But now i've realized the previous error of my ways I think i often show more integrity than normal people i encounter day to day.

I hope you find this helpful in approaching your friend/partner etc, and remember that even implied condescension on the topic will irritate the individual profusely, discuss, debate, never ever talk down to.

Answer 6

Very difficult question to answer. It depends on how you would want to try to help, and what your goals would be. Maybe calling a nurse or a therapist could help you.

See the related links for some information.

Answer 7

If possible it is best to just avoid sociopaths. If you cannot avoid them, be on guard, and if necessary call the police.

Answer 8

No, not really. Sociopathy is a personality disorder, and unlike a mental illness these cannot be "cured".

Answer 9

Kill Them