You will probably want to contact a poison control center as soon as possible. Or go to the Emergency room if experiencing breathing problems,vomiting, or swelling.
Anytime you swallow anything that isn't food, you should call the poison control center to find out whether you should head to the hospital or the morgue. What you probably shouldn't do is ask a bunch of knuckleheads on the internet what to do, especially when you don't give them specifics (like what KIND of "anti-itch cream").
You Die
you die
you die...
pain
Nothing happens
you simply put it in your mouth and swallow
there is no cream in cream crackers
You can get chemical burns along your throat and stomach if you swallow lye.
You burp bubbles
It depends on how much you swallow. If it is a large amount, you could get diarrhea and/or vomit.
Mold grows in your tummy