How do you influence people?

Answer 1

Really, what you do is be aware of the human ego and make others feel good.

In Dale Carnegie's book, How to Win Friends and Influence People, he starts by giving stories about notorious criminals. When caught, they all claimed that was what they got for being a good person and helping others. Not a one said they deserved life in prison or the death penalty because they were evil and killed a bunch of people. So, if the worst specimens of human existence have pride and egos, and they truly believe they are good people, then it stands to reason that the people we encounter each day would have even more reason to think highly of themselves. So if you treat them as they think of themselves, they may act as though they like you.

A major part of Carnegie's book is about trying to persuade others. The simplest way to do that is to help them to come up with your ideas and let them think they came up with them on their own.

If you have to try to get someone to do something they don't care to do, you could give them an illusion of choice, so you are making them feel important by giving them a decision to make. For instance, if you want them to take a business trip they would rather not take, you could ask them which motel they want to stay in.

If you are involved in a trying to close a deal in a corporate takeover, and the other side is reluctant, a way to resolve that would be to let them keep the name of the company intact. When egos are tied to a place of business, letting them keep the name allows them to save face and not feel as much like a loser.

If you are doing something wrong that is rather minor, often the best thing to do is confess it and start to remedy the situation. For instance, if it is illegal to walk a dog without a leash, you could apologize upon seeing a police officer and start to put them back on the leash. Some officers may be touched and tell you to continue, but you likely won't get a ticket or fine either way. However, if you wait until they tell you that you are breaking the law and you start getting defensive or making excuses, you will likely get into trouble.

If you want permission to do something that the other person sees as unusual, then you might want to try suggesting an even more bizarre idea. That again ties in with giving the illusion of choice, and they will likely let you do the least radical of the two ideas.

Answer 2

You gain friendship by being like the people that you want to be friends with. For example if the person is funny be funny. If the person is serious , be serious. If the person is dangerous be dangerous. Be like that person. Don't be a follower or a slave just peek at there personality and add your own personality.

Answer 3

Stand up for yourself, and find something more compelling in what you believe than what others think about it. A compelled person is a compelling person...