How do you deal with emotional and mental abuse by an ex?

Answer 1

== == == == * You are certainly not alone and there are thousands and thousands of women around the world in your situation. I live in British Columbia, Canada and volunteer at an Abused Women's Center. I am not sure if you have some freedom with your abuser or not. Perhaps if you can, go to the closest Abused Women's Center and try to take their programs, but, if your abuser keeps a tight rein on you then you are going to have to go to a friend's house and phone and make an appointment to see a counselor at the Abused Women's Center. Mental Health in your area can help as well and lead you in all the right directions. Remember, once you leave you can't go back!I was married before to a mentally abusive man who became abusive. Oddly enough I did have some freedom, but not much. I went to work, came home, but if I went out even to a movie with a girlfriend I was kept up late with his yelling and screaming as to where I was. I was emotionally exhausted and walked around for over a year like a zombie. One day something snapped in me and I found myself hunting for my own apartment, then I went back to the place my husband and I lived in and took 1/2 of everything and moved in. I changed jobs and friends. He did phone me begging me to come back and when I refused he became very enraged. Oddly enough he didn't bother me at work. However, once he did come to my apartment and thank God, I had a girlfriend there. I kicked his butt out the door (gave him no choice or I would have phoned the police.) I did get rid of him. Not all abusers are as easy as my ex to handle and I took a risk. Some abusers will kill for much less than a woman leaving his control. Please watch out for yourself.You will certainly need counseling because these abusers (mental or physical) leave scars and you need to know the tools so you won't return to your abuser or choose another abusive mate. Right now I'm sure you are thinking that there is no way if you could get away from this guy that you would go back, but the stats are high that many abused women go back to their abuser or choose another abusive mate. Victims have basically gone into "survival mode" and they become emotionally confused. They have lost their dignity, their individuality and are left to feel they can't get along out in the world without their abuser (not true!) That's a cheap trick to keep the victim under control.I really wish you luck hon, and if there is anything else I can do to help please repost and I'll see it.Stay strong!

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* Hi. You mentioned hes an EX. Do you have children together? If so that can be tough. If not just totally ignore him. Its hard to answer your question not knowing the circumstances such as is he bothering you? is he harassing you legally? Thanks. == == == ==

* The last poster asked some good questions. Children or not the Abused Women's Centers are willing and able to handle this. Abused or not, if you can get away from your ex one day, head for that Abused Women's Center! If there are children involved many mother's would fight to their dying breath to get the children away from the abusive behavior. The husband/boyfriend doesn't have to lay a hand on the children (only you) to be emotionally damaging to the children. Children find it extremely difficult to cope with constant arguing in the household or seeing their mother hit.

* I have a little girl and witnessed all the beatings I received. I finally left after 12 years. I gave my life to God. Maybe that can be a start for you. I was scared and lost and I thought that it was OK for me to live like this, but at 17 years old I was not smart about my choices. I'm 29 years old and just left my ex 11 months ago. Seek God, find out who you are. Be around positive people.

Please don't stay in the situation you are in, I know it's really scary and when you get out of that situation, all of a sudden the world feels huge. Trust me life gets better. It took me 10 yrs to pluck up the courage to get away. I don't think there is any abuse you can think of that I didn't go through. Some Christians entered into my life and I gave my heart to Jesus. I got out of the situation and I've been healed of the pain.

Appart from sharing this, I don't tend to look back only froward, it seems like it happened to someone else.

Answer 2

One way is to look at the abuse as an emergency. In that case, you remove yourself from the situation so that you are safe, and then you get help. If the abuse has been ongoing for some time, then the best thing is to get a team (good friends, therapist)together and follow their advice without argument so that they can lead you out. Otherwise, you will "but" yourself (can't afford it, it isn't so bad, abuser will change, I can handle it) and not make it happen. Abuse of any kind should not be dealt with. Either the abuser needs to get help, should you choose to stay or get out. You have the right to have a peaceful existence while you are hear and not have someone degrade you and abuse you. Get help or get out. Those should be your only choices.

Answer 3

Have no contact with them. Absolutely none. If there are children involved, have as minimal contact as possible. Keep your conversations civil but brief. The only was to deal with abuse is to remove yourself from the abuse. Also, if there are children involved, please take every precaution to protect them from the abuse. Generally speaking, you were able to make this person an "ex." The children do not have this luxury. Take care of yourself and refuse from this moment on to be treated badly. You deserve better.

Answer 4

Get out of it. That would be my first step. then I would tell someone i trusted, like a family member. I would work with them to figure out what my next step should be, and most of the time it should probably be getting law enforcement involved. If you're in an abusive relationship, definitely start by getting out of there.

Answer 5

Sometimes it may be hard to get out of an abusive relationship. This is because violent relationships often go in cycles. After a person is violent, he or she may apologize and promise never to hurt you again, and even say that they will work on the relationship. It may be a while before that person acts violently again. These ups and downs can make it hard to leave a relationship.

It's hard to leave someone you care about. You may be scared or ashamed to admit that you are in an abusive relationship, or you may be simply scared to be alone. You may be afraid that no one will believe you, or that your friend or partner will hurt you more if you tell someone. Whatever the reasons, leaving an unhealthy relationship is hard but something you must do, and you'll need help to do it.

Abusive relationships are very unhealthy for you. You might have trouble sleeping, or have headaches or stomach aches. You might feel depressed, sad, anxious, or nervous. You may also blame yourself, feel guilty, and have trouble trusting other people in your life. Staying in an abusive relationship can hurt your self-confidence and make it hard for you to believe in yourself. If you are being physically abused, you can be the victim of injuries that could cause permanent damage. You should definitely leave the relationship if you are getting hurt, if you have bruises or pain, or if you are being threatened with physical harm in any way.

Remember that the most important reason to leave an unhealthy relationship is because you deserve to be in a relationship that is healthy and fun.

Answer 6

If youur ex talks to youu bad , ignore it && if it keeps goin' on , do it back . If he says some really mean stuff about a friend or family member , block the number . ? iHad that sittuation before . iGot called a dirty cu*t . So , what iDid was iBlock the number on my iPod , but then he texted my cell phone && kept on doin' it , so iBroke my phone . But , if youu cant block the number try your best to ignore it .

If youur ex abuses youu mentaly , STAY AWAY . My sister had a sistuation like that . The best thing youu should do is to keep youu distance , delete the number && forget about it . Stay postitve && enjoy the day . (:

Hope this helps . (:

Answer 7

Run away fast.They are a narcissist and you cannot win. If you stand up to them, they will devour you.

Answer 8

abused mentally can leads to many problems but the most important problem is. A person starts to get depressed and writing ur thoughts on paper can be a very good remady for depression.

Answer 9

Start with therapy .