How do you modify visitation when kids see dad drunk and abusive?

Answer 1

Public place and you get to stay across the room. No driving involved. Basically, the agreement should be that if he is under the influence when you arrive, you get to leave with the children. Let him know the police will be called at the first sign of abusive behavior--verbal or physical.

Back in the day, we visited dad in his local bar for birthdays and other events.

Answer

The custodial parent must return to court for a modification of the visitation schedule. The father's Alcoholism must be reported to the court, investigated and the visitation order must be changed to allow only supervised visitations that should be determined by the court upon the recommendation of a court appointed guardian ad litem who will act in the best interest of the child. Visitations should never depend on the custodial parent having to determine the level of intoxication each time the visitations occur. He could drink after he picks them up. The alcoholic father should have no opportunity to harm the children by his intoxication. The visits should take place in a safe environment with another responsible adult present at all times.

The mother cannot impose her own limitations and this type of situation is not open to any "agreement" between the parties. Until the court modifies the order the father has the right of visitation as it is presently set forth in that order. The children are at risk, not only from injury or neglect by the actions of the father but also from being exposed to alcohol abuse. The mother must act as soon as possible. She should consult with an attorney or inquire at the court to speak with a legal advocate.