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How is it possible to fall so completely in love with a narcissist if they are incapable of falling in love themselves?
Wiki User
∙ 12y ago
It is entirely reasonable, and even probable, to fall in love with someone who thinks very highly of themselves. If after some time, one discovers that this person does not love you, that does not mean that the reason they have not fallen in love with you is because they are a 'narcissist' (using the term very loosely). The best course of action at this point is to consider what were the possible causes in your own behavior which could be amended or improved in the future. What one does not want to do is repeat your own mistakes. =Answer= I asked the original question, but I do not agree with your answer. Sorry. This would imply that there might have been something I could have done differently or that it was my mistake to have gotten involved with a narcissist in the first place. First of all, narcissists do not have a big "N" tattooed on their foreheads! We don't see them coming, you know? Secondly, I know there is nothing wrong with me. I was loving, kind and generous to this man, and he took advantage of it. He is sick, and maybe not even fully aware of the effect he has had on me. I spoke with my counselor since I asked this question. I asked her for an opinion. She told me that narcissists are masters at projection (look it up) they mirror back to us our own ideals of love. They observe us carefully and pick up on cues as to what our ideal relationship would be. What we are seeing and falling in love with is a mirror of our own desires reflected to us in the eyes of the narcissist. You can learn a lot from this if you see it as a positive. My counselor told me that what I brought to the table in the relationship is still mine to keep- my capacity to love. I have not lost that. Please be careful about blaming the victim, as I have interpreted your reply. We are good people and we are hurting. We do not need or deserve the additional burden to think that any of this is our fault. It sure is! Narcissistic people are chameleons and they hide their truth selfish and egotistical selves very well. However, they are just human like everyone else and the ugly side of them has to come out sooner or later. Narcissists can drive a person to near insanity with their mind-bending game-playing so if you are caught up in this don't blame yourself. Run!
Wiki User
∙ 17y ago
Wiki User
∙ 12y agoyou let yourself do it. You need to learn to spot the problems. You need to see lots of people and learn to trust your internal "radar" so that you don't make that mistake again.
A narcissist seems like a lot of fun as long as it's just a trivial relationship. But once it starts getting serious, they don't know how, not really. You need to learn to spot that before the next one comes along and hurts you again.
AnswerNarcissists are a sad lot. They actually can feel love, but are bent on self mutilating everything they touch and that includes ruining any relationship they come in contact with. Narcissists feel they need to control because they lived in an environment of the lack of control for themselves or it's learned behavior from a parent, etc. It often appears that the Narcissist is winning and leaving bodies behind them, but alas, in the end they burn their bridges and have a lonely existence ahead of them. Controlling a mate or those around you isn't much fun as you get older.Signs of a Narcissist: Self indulgence, arrogance, feeling they are more intelligent than those around them. They consider most people to be mere smudges in society and unintelligent. They are crafty and can be chameleons (one minute being very nice, then back-stabbing, abusive, argumentative.) When they first meet their VICTIM they can over-whelm her with gifts, take her to expensive places, but if a woman is wary (and she should be when she first meets someone) the signs are there. Perhaps ordering your food for you, telling you what to wear for the evening and what not to wear. Making unkind comments about your appearance in general. Correcting many things you do such as cooking a meal, making a statement on any subject. A Narcissist will CORRECT!
There are many more signs, but the above should be enough to cause any woman to run screaming for the hills.
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Is it possible to change the age when the students can drop out of school by themselves legally?
Only by lobbying the state legislature to change it to age 22.
How do you get a narcissist to stop using your child as a way to control you and have contact with you when the court system is allowing him to do so?
I have seen a few cases when the parent whether it be him or her use the child to manipulate the other party. The only consolation I can give you from that is that the child won't be under age for ever. That is when patience steps in and sometimes you will have to show tough love. It is not meant to punish the kid whatever the situation may be. But to let the other party know you can say no and pretend like things don't bother you. Chances are that child is being brain washed anyway. Just stay prayed up because trouble don't last always. * Adults can only be controlled if they themselves allow it. The only contact one needs to have with an ex spouse is that which pertains to issues specifically related to the welfare of the child. And the welfare of the child is the only thing the court is concerned about. Adults make their own choices of how they react and interact to every other person or situation. If one allows themselves to be manipulated regardless of the form taken by an ex spouse (or anyone) that is a choice. If one chooses to standup for themselves and inform the offending party in no uncertain terms that they will not allow them to interfere in their life, that is also a choice. I agree strongly with the above poster, and I might add, a narcissist will usually not pursue a situation that will be extremely expensive or inconvenient to the narcissist. So one suggestion I have is moving far, far away if at all possible. If the narcissist has to pay a lot of money or take a long trip to bother you, he will probably decide it is easier to hunt near his home turf. They can be pretty lazy, these narcissists. And I believe that although you have to inform the other parent that you are moving, you can still move at will. This is what I'm going to try, since I'm in a similar situation. You might also look into changing the custody agreement so that the narcissist is responsible for the expenses when he wants to see the children, and use a court-appointed mediator for contact. A restraining order might be another possibility depending on the situation. Make it difficult for him. Talk to your lawyer about how you can do this. Mine was pretty understanding and had some good suggestions.
Can you take legal action to get a narcissist diagnosed so the narcissist won't have unsupervised visitation with his child?
Probably not, the best you will be able to do is to document / record / video / keep everything the narcissist pulls. True narcissists can usually fool and actually love fooling legal and health care professionals, it gives them a sense of power. Don't kid yourself either. Many health care workers (cps, social services), therapists, psychologists and even psychaiatrists are nut jobs in their own right. There are plenty of good ones out there too. Narcissists will seek out those that they can manipulate. They do not like the ones they can't and will avoid them. Narcissists for the most part are not psychotic but if they have borderline traits can derail if under stress. Even in counseling most narcissists can fool a psycologist/therapist for quite a while. What you need to understand is what makes a narcissist tick. They internally are selfish children that are insecure, cruel and nasty. If you can prove this to others it's the ultimate degredation to them. They will get furious because the truth about themselves is what they fear most. So, document, video, record, and keep everything. Narcissists are narcissists forever. Also, never allow them to see that they can hurt you, it takes away their glee. Even better, live your own life well and enjoy it to the fullest. Get in shape, be happy and always pleasant with them. Move on with your life and don't look back no matter how much they try and hurt you. It's the best revenge. I know from experience. Only a judge can order someone to be examined or to receive psychological counseling. Court ordered action is only possible if the person has committed a crime or can be proven to be a danger to themselves or society.
Narcissist in love with a narcissist?
It's certainly possible. A narcissist may date another narcissist that is more selfish than they are to feel better about themselves. In turn say "i'm not as selfish as he/she is so that makes me above him/her). It's incredible and shocking the way people with this disorder think. It takes a lot of research to understand a narcissist.
Is it possible to show a narcissist up publicly?
It is possible to show up a narcissist publicly, but if you do, the narcissist is going to be very angry at you. It is not always a wise strategy to make enemies.
Does the narcissist change for the new girlfriend that he loves so much?
No. That person is only an extension of himself. He can only love things that are of himself and thus is incapable of any selfless love, empathy, or understanding. A narcissist's onlyopportunity for change occurs during a life altering crisis. This deflates the narcissist's ego a leaves him emotionally unstable. It is possible, but very unlikely a narcissist will change. It is even more unlikely he will change for another person. He probably is unaware of his own attitudes as they are subconscious defense mechanisms usually formed in childhood or adolescence. Furthermore, he is incapable of that self-sacrificing behavior that enables Pygmalion projects.
What can you do when a narcissist tries to intimidate you?
Gather as much factual evidence as possible.
Is it possible to have a friendship with a narcissist?
It can be possible to be friends with a narcissist but do not expect much from this person. Also expect the friendship not to be very fufilling and mostly one sided (on your part) The one thing that does help is that you already know that he/she is a narcissist so you will understand why they do or say most things. I say give it a shot but do not expect too much like a friendship where that person will always be there for you no matter what because that just will not happen. I know this from experience. GOODLUCK!
Is it possible to turn into a pokemon?
Pokemon are fictional creatures, and humans are incapable of shape-shifting.
If a narcissisist says thay never want to see you again --do they mean it?
Well, a narcissist is someone who is in love with themselves. So it is possible that he may not like you as much as himself, but that's only if he's a drastic case of narcissism.
Could you get a sentence using the word realized?
Today I realized that it is possible I am incapable of experiencing love.
Is it possible to get the chickenpox virus completely out of your system?
No, it is not possible to get the chicken pox virus completely out of your system.
Does a narcissist have any idea what it means when someone tells them they love them?
NONE. It's just words. GET AWAY FROM THEM ASAP! It is possible that a narcissist may comprehend the idea of love (as they love themselves), but whether or not they translate other people's love for them may depend on the person. For example, some narcissists may understand another person's love for them but rather than fully appreciate it, see it as something they "deserve".
Is it typical of a narcissist to ignore you then get upset when you don't pursue him?
Yes. And let him... keep going... as FAR AWAY from him as possible.
Is it possible to like someone but not know it?
completely possible.
