What can you say to parents of SIDS victims?

Answer 1

Most people are uncomfortable with death, especially when it deals with an infant. Many people say stupid things to parents like, "you can always have another," "it was the will of God," or something else that does not help the parent. Just say you're sorry for their loss, and if you want to do more ASK what you can do. If you can help with funeral arangements, returning clothes, driving to support meetings, and just handing over wads of tissue as needed, you are helping. If you can't help, keep in touch but don't stick around. Time takes the edge of the frequency of the pain away but the death of the child will always be a raw nerve. It does help to ask questions like "what type of baby was he?" or "can you show me some pictures of her?" The SIDS parent is often in a haze after the death, but they do remember the little things. I am a SIDS parent. I know they wanna here they did not cause the death — some parents think they did. They want to hear the baby's name & hear you talk about the baby. Never, ever say "I know how you feel I lost (a dog, a parent, etc.)." The loss of a baby is the worst feeling in the world. They wanna hear you care. We want you to LISTEN most of all. LISTEN to what we have to say. We don't want advice, just someone to talk to about such a tragic loss. We want to know you care. Don't avoid them, it is one of the worst things you can do. Just let them know you care about them & their BABY.