What are some funny school jokes?

Answer 1

Question: What do you use when you have to use the toilet while taking a test?

Answer: A #2 pencil.

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.

MARIA: Here it is!

TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?

CLASS: Maria!

TEACHER: Why are you late, Frank?

FRANK: Because of the sign.

TEACHER: What sign?

FRANK: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."

TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?

JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables!

TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?"

GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D- A-I-L"

TEACHER: No, that's wrong

GLENN: Maybe it s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!

TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?

DONALD: H I J K L M N O!!

TEACHER: What are you talking about?

DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O!

TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we

didn't have ten years ago.

WINNIE: Me!

TEACHER: Goss, why do you always get so dirty?

GOSS: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I."

MILLIE: I is...

TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, "I am."

MILLIE: All right.. "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

TEACHER: Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?

TINO: Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time."

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry

tree, but also admitted doing it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father

didn't punish him?"

LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.

TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?

SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.

TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as

your brother's. Did you copy his?

CLYDE: No, teacher, it's the same dog!;

TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when

people are no longer interested?

HAROLD: A teacher.

Teacher: Well, there is one good thing I can tell you about your son.

Father: Oh? What's that?

Teacher: With the grades that he's getting, he can't possibly be cheating.

Teacher: Do you understand the importance of punctuation?

Student: Oh yes, I always get to school on time.

Teacher: Can you tell me what a unit of electricity is called?

Student: What?

Teacher: Correct

Teacher: Please name two pronouns.

Student: Who? Me?

Teacher: Correct.

Teacher: Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?

Student: Brotherly love.

Teacher: What is the difference between a car and a tree?

Student: The car leaves the shed whereas the tree sheds the leaf

Teacher: "Sam, you talk a lot !"

Sam: "It's a family tradition".

Teacher: "What do you mean?"

Sam: "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".

Teacher: "What about your mother?"

Sam: She is a woman.

Tom: "How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?"

David: "You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's performance repeated".

Teacher: You failure! At your age Bill Gates stood first in the class.

Student: Mind you, Sir, but at your age, Hitler committed suicide.

A Teacher lecturing on population: "About every 10 seconds a woman gives birth to a kid."

A Man stands up: "We must find and stop her!."

Teacher: "I killed a person," convert this sentence into future tense.

Johnny: The future tense is "You will go to jail".

Teacher: Raju, How many times have I told you not to scribble on the board?

Raju: Sorry Miss, I did not count.

Answer 2

George W. asked the class for an example of a tragedy.

One boy stood up and said, "If my best friend who lives next door is playing in the street and a car comes along and runs him over, that would be a tragedy." "No," said Bush, "that would be an accident.

" A girl raised her hand and said, "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove off a cliff, killing everyone on board, that would be a tragedy." "I'm afraid not," the President said. "That's what we would call a Great Loss."

The room went silent. No other children volunteered. President Bush searched the room and asked, "Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?" Finally, way in the back of the room, Johnny raised his hand, and in a quiet voice, he said, "If Air Force One, carrying Mr. and Mrs. Bush, was struck by a missile and blown up to smithereens, that would be a tragedy." "That's right! And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?" asked the President. "

Well," Johnny said, "because it wouldn't be an accident and it wouldn't be a Great Loss..."

Answer 3

Why did bob eat his homework. because his teacher said it was a piece of cake

Answer 4

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