How do you become Ruler of the world?

Answer 1

Well, there are many different ways, but I find this the most effective. I was ruler of the world for several years before George W Bush cheated in the elections.

Fisrtly, you must apply for a leadership permit. To be valid for a leadership permit you must first be in control of at least five countries, preferably on a different continent each time (though we understand if there are one or two repeats). Once you have got a permit you move onto the next step.

The next thing you should do, as soon as you get your permit, is buy yourself a death machine. There are a lot on the market, so be fussy when choosing. You need one that's got a good warranty (five years warranty at least) and one that's not too destructive.

Not too destructive?! How does that wok?!

You want to rule the world, so you'll need some people left to rule. It's basic logic.

After that you need a ridiculously over the top plan with next to no chance of working. It has to involve pirahnas, your brand new death machine and at least 3 Swiss yodelors.

Once you get your message through that you mean business they'll try and nuke you. Be sure to avoid getting hit, and then use your PR manager set up an internet rumour about the government destroying the evironment.

After that you should find the world relatively submissive. Make sure you have a good torture chamber for any rebelers (all good torture chambers must include rack, man eating sharks, and several different Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber CDs), and be sure to give out free jelly once in a while to keep the people on your side.

Congratulations: you now rule the world. We hope you have fun being an evil Dictatorship, but please note:

The world's warranty expires in approx. 5 billion years

The world is not suitable for children under the age of five

The management accepts no resonsibilty for trauma caused by Nukes or stuck Justin Bieber CDs.

Thank you and enjoy