Why does someone become abusive?

Answer 1

To make themselves feel powerful... to let you know whose boss. Men are like that.

The cultural and social context of abuse is described here:

Many abusers are narcissists. The psychodynamics of Narcissism - formation and manifestations - are described here:

A�Primer on Narcissism

I am trying to recover from being an emotional abuser. I have read Beverly Engle's book the emotional abusive relationship and she states that all abusers and most victims have been abused in someway as a child. I know this is true for me. Both my parents were alcoholics, my dad died when i was a baby and my mother would go 3 0r 4 months at a time not being sober. I was on my own basically from a very young age. I did my own laundry, fed my self and got myself off to school. I tried to make everything look normal. I kind of shut down emotionaly. I too became an alcohloic, but stopped drinking with AA over 14 years ago. I thought I was fixed or all better. I had some anger issues as a kid towards my mother.

Many many reasons,i would imagine. I was born in 1939,two weeks after my father shipped out to go overseas.The man that came back was a drunken rageaholic.There were many out and out fisticuffs in our family.The only way my older sister and I survived,was to gang up on my Father.I left home at the age of 13.My sister choose to stay and finish school.Luckily I was a good waitress,and looked quite mature for my age.I survived on tips and very low wages.Never went back home until i learned my Father was dying from lung cancer. Then I went ahead and married another alcoholic,as abusive as my Father ever was. Happy ending though.I left him and discovered I don't need a man in my life.Today I am safe and secure in the knowledge I can survive on my own.I have good friends,loving family,and feel I have put all my demons to bed.But I also had to look deep to understand why I would ever stay in an abusive relationship.Good luck to all of you in an abusive relationship.I wouldn't dare to presume to have an answer.I just know what has worked for me. Marge

I was abused by my partner, the only resaon that i can come up with for the way that he treated me was the dreadful abuse that my ex partner received from his mother as a child, this not being an excuse as many abusers don't go on to abuse. yet it may be one of the reasons for his lack of control , his anger and need to control others, and perhaps put women though what his mother had put him through. who knows!

People like power well most. My ex was very controlling over me but deep inside i found that it was insecurity enough insecurity to give you the power to mentally emotionally and physically abuse the one that loves you.

Answer 2

Abuse can be a complex issue with various contributing factors such as a history of trauma, mental health issues, substance abuse, learned behavior from past experiences, and underlying emotional issues. It is important to address these root causes through therapy and support to prevent further harm and promote healing and change.