What does the bible say about getting engaged?

Answer 1

One thought:

The Bible doesn't say alot directly on 'Engagement', as such, but it contains many principles that can help us in making this kind of decision, and atleast one familiar example of people who WERE 'engaged' (or 'promised in marriage')(Matthew 1:18)

Marriage is a BIG step, and an important step in God's sight (Hebrews 13:4/Matthew 19:6/Mark 10:11). It is a contract, and keeping one's word is expected(Matthew 5:37/James 5:12). Scripturally, marriage is a 'permanent bond of union'. As long as the partners are alive(Romans 7:2) and have not committed adultery(Matthew 19:9/Matthew 5:32), marriage is FOREVER in God's sight(Genesis 2:24/ Matthew 19:4-6). So, for a Christian, 'engagement' needs to be well thought out and prayed about (Proverbs 21:5 + Proverbs 19:21).

In the 'Old Testament' (under the Mosaic Law) an 'ENGAGEMENT' (a promise of marriage) was viewed as seriously as marriage. Under this Law, engaged couples were viewed as having a 'contract', and were considered legally 'married' in every way except sexually. When the official marriage ceremony actually took place, amongst throngs of happy friends and family celebrating, the groom would lead his bride to his home, and they would then move in together and be 'married' in the complete sense.(Matthew 1:24/Genesis 24:67)

Under this Mosaic Law, an engaged woman could be sentenced to death if she slept with another man (Deuteronomy 22:23+24)since this would be considered 'adultery', and breaking an engagement was considered a 'divorce' (Matthew 1:19), which is HATED by God(Malachi 2:16). Though Christians are no longer under the Mosaic Law (Colossians 2:14/Romans 6:14), just knowing how God has felt about engagement, historically, can help us to see what his feelings are today(Malalchi 3:6/Isaiah 43:10/James 1:17).

First, emotional maturity is imperative when making this commitment. God does not take broken promises lightly(Ecclesiastes 5:4/John 8:44). In the Christian Greek scriptures, it's advisable that the couple involved be 'past the "flower of age" (or the 'bloom of youth'...old enough to be able to make a well thought out decision, without being overpowered by newly acquired sexual urges(1 Corinthians 7:36)) and stable enough to be able to loyally stick to their vow, and work things out(Colossians 3:13/1 Corinthians 7:10+11/Matthew 5:33/Psalms 15:4).

God ALWAYS keeps his word(Joshua 23:14), and though he knows our human limitations(Psalm 103:14), once a person commits to a relationship, unless something drastic happens, God expects us to live up to our word (Ecclesiastes 5:4/1 Corinthians 7:10-11), so careful thought ahead of time, BEFORE a commitment of engagement is made, is highly encouraged(Luke 14:28+29).