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it feels good because your letting out a lot of pressure that you felt guilty about instead of keeping it all balled up inside longer Not disagreeing with the previous answer, however there is another perspective. The fact that you need to appologize expresses that you have done something to hurt someone. Feeling the need to appologize itself indicates remorse or regret. Those don't go away with the appology. They can remain forever, depending on how great an injury you caused. Think about it, when you did what you did to hurt the other person, you injured yourself as well. Hence, the remorse/regret. These are the symptoms of self-injury, the result. The represent psychological scars, and scars do not just go away. There are three things you can do with regret: you can leave it alone and let it eat at you, tearing away little pieces of you for the rest of your life; you can set it downand never think about it again, put it behind you and try to forget it; or, you can forgive yourself and learn from the mistake for which you felt the need to apologize The first two options are not very effective, personal experience. If you leave it alone, it will eat at you and eat at you, eventually resulting in a possibly greater injury to yourself or another. If you try to put it behind you, it will not stay there. It will follow you like a ghost or demon and pick at you as if it has a life of its own, resulting in a possibly greater injury to yourself or another. Forgiveness is the key. Forgiveness, however, is not a light switch. You can't just turn it on and say, "Oh, wow, now I'm forgiven," and go on with your life as if nothing happened. An apology and forgiveness do not wipe away the past; it is still there. The apology is the first step, forgiveness is the path. Pardon the metaphor. When you forgive, especially yourself, you have to get up every morning and do it all over again. You may have to practice it several times during the day. Eventually you will have to make the conscious effort to forgive less and less. Here's the hitch: there are those who will not forgive you, perhaps those you injured, perhaps those related or associated with them. They will take every opportunity to remind you of the injury and pain you caused. This will make it impossible for you to forgive you, at best difficult. At this point, you have two choices if you want to heal: you can separate yourself from that unforgiving person, never to have contact again; or, if you cannot separate, you can take charge and inform that person, "I've done harm, and I am sorry for that. I cannot change it, but I have admitted my wrong, apologized and I am willing to do what I can to make up for it. I will not be punished by you or anyone for it for the rest of my life, or even one minute more. So, your choice is to accept that or you move on. Either way, this is the last you will remind me of it." Forgiveness is a choice, perhaps one of the most difficult roads for us to take. Self-forgiveness is the most difficult road to travel. So, does it feel good? It can, it usually does to some extent eventually. But, it usually brings up the pain all new. It is something that needs to be done, though. One of the necessary paths of life.

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16y ago

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