How does a husband's feelings toward his wife change when her body changes after child birth?

Answer 1

A mature person realizes physical looks aren't permanent--everyone develops wrinkles, everyone has cellulite and gains or loses weight. A person loves someone for who they are overall, their character first and foremost. So if it becomes a relationship conditional, "I'll will only continue to love you if you're wealthy/athletic/beautiful/educated," it's someone who puts their own ideas of what they should have first. This doesn't mean a partner shouldn't be concerned over a health issue--heavy drinking, drug use, gaining a large amount of weight as to where it can affect their physical health. It means the persons encourages the other person to live a healthy lifestyle, both should attempt to work out and eat healthier and not criticizing and saying someone looks fat, someone isn't as sexy as they previously were. Many women do gain some weight or at the least have stretch marks--this is normal after a pregnancy and the husband should educate himself as to this. I think it really depends on the woman. For instance, if you don't care about the stretch marks (and allow them to proliferate across your once smooth stomach during pregnancy) and you are so enraptured with your newborn(s) that you don't care about the rolls you developed and allow the sagging skin to remain untouched, then it's pretty obvious that your husband will probably not be pleased. Remember, men are visually stimulated. If he valued your physical beauty beforehand, and your body changes so that you are no longer as beautiful physically, then it follows that your value has decreased (in that area - your value may have increased in other areas to offset this). Another thing to consider is your energy level. If after having a baby you are no longer as energetic as he is, you may again lose value in his eyes in this area. I don't really know if this is an effect of the body's change after childbirth or the woman's exhaustion from the baby's constant need to be cared for. Keep in mind that your physical beauty and appreciation will eventually decline over the years (as nature takes its toll) and that childbirth is part of that process. A good husband will realize this and come to accept that his wife will not always be able to maintain the level of physical beauty that once attracted him so.