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If an abusive man is in therapy is it safe to stay with him or is leaving better?
Wiki User
∙ 8y ago
The best reconciliation information I have read, says to separate while the process is going on. Then, you each can become the best person while apart and begin the relationship again on equal footing. That is, if his actions reflect a change in behavior. Move back in/marry with caution (leave yourself an out), because success is rare.
Therapy is a long process and with no guaranteed results. If you do not feel safe with him - leave. Sometimes therapy makes things worse before it makes things better.
I am still wearing makeup today to cover my black eye and the gruesome bite mark on my arm from my so called fiance.
Your question in one I have recently asked myself on how I plan to proceed with addressing his fit of violence.
He too will be seeking intensive counseling, (an I will too).
I cant help but to argue with myself.
Just because he admits he has some serious issues to deal with.
Does not mean he is all better because of his epiphany.
The tools to continue living together free of violence are not established.
Therefore I am going to tell you what I am going to do.
I need to see some improvement or in laymans terms Proof he has found alternative to vent his frustation in anger in non-violent manners.
and until then I need safety and security for me and my daughter.
I know it is eaiser to say than do, even I dont have a pile of cash to move much less for 1st and last months rent.
but you have to thing of when he was hurting you, remember how you asked yourself is this the end, and how bad you wanted it to stop.
talk to your friends, your family, and ask them to put you up for a while.
In my opinion I say leaving is better for right now!
FOR GOD'S SAKE LEAVE, I have learned there is no change for the abusive man. He will be OK for a while until you trust him again and then he will try to put you back under his thumb. Get out and get you emotionally healthy and don't worry about how he feels. LOVE YOURSELF.
"If an abusive man is in therapy is it safe to stay with him or is leaving better?"
I don't know. I think many factors must be considered along with keeping in mind the therapy is for him as he is the abuser not you the vicitm so I wouldn't get so caught up with what he needs to do to heal himself but more so what you the vicitm needs to do to heal yourself. I agree with the poster above that what is most important is that you love yourself first and allow your feelings of self-love to guide your decision on whether you stay with a man that has abused you even if he is in therapy.
Best wishes for the future...
Wiki User
∙ 8y ago
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