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Is it possible for a Narcissist in a loveless marriage to fall in love with someone else and be a better person?
Anything is possible these days as we all want to be loved and if we are in a useless marriage where's the fun in that. Answer Narcissists "fall in love" in the idealization stage. They become a "Better Person" only because they are pretending to be what the idealized target wants him to be. He can only pretend so long (because he is ....human ???) The facade crumbles at the precise moment he realizes the other to be a human being with human needs and emotion. Trust me I have seen this before my very eyes when i first though as you did that he met soul mate and was a better person - so he appeared to be. Thing is all of his loveless realtionships were at one time idealized and reeked of true love when he first met them. Yes all of us want to be loved but for the N he has no reference point of love and cannot maintain a meaningfull relation ship with another human being. It can only be with an image of himself and what he idealizes in another person which is really an extension of himself. It has nothing to do with who the other person really is. Answer Don't forget that may have told you he was in a loveless marriage but did his wife tell you that too? I suspect not. Yes and yet it was loveless for HIM because narcs are incapable of loving. So don't think for one second that he has "fallen in love" with you. He hasn't. And he will never love you either. You are an object to him. Sorry
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What are the chances of someone who has only been in love with abusive and narcissistic men ever falling in love with an emotionally healthy person?
Therapy can help as can updating your sense of attraction for men. The old saying is, "If you do not change what you are doing, then you cannot expect anything different to ha…ppen." Look at the articles on recognizing abusive men before you date and become involved with them--and try to avoid them. Own up to a mistake right away and do not go out with them again. They are enticing charmers, as you know. But, there are wonderful men out there who will be good to you and you want to create a life that you can share with that good man. Follow your interests, your heart, and take your time Your chances of having a healthy relationship with a matuere, reciprocating partner are very high - except if you are a codependent. Even then, a spell of therapy usually solves the problem effectively. See the external links further Dow this page. I am very optimistic for you...a bit of therapy and also, you are learning what not to look for through past experiences. Take some time and use your instinct. good luck! I had that problem. Get some theraphy and a man willing to be patient and work with you. I know you can do this because I did it!!!! GOOD LUCK!!! I agree with the others; once you have had therapy and worked on yourself, the rest will follow. Without therapy, it's unlikely you can progress sufficiently. However, the good news is that it can be done, and the love relationship you have with the healthy person will blow you away (i speak from happy experience). I am living proof that you can fall in love with an emotionally healthy and HAPPY person after being in negative relationships. I had to seek therapy because I could not understand why I kept falling into the "bad relationship trap" and I needed some guidance. Once I received it, it made me stronger and I was able to break free from a relationship with a narcissist. Now I am getting married to a wonderful man and I haven't looked back. i would have to say i was in the same situation i had dated a guy who was in a previous relationship with a abuseive narcissistic girlfriend , whom had physically mentally an emotionally abused him.. whom he had dumped several times but kept falling back into her devilish arms... when he asked me out an dated me he claimed that he was the happiest guy alive an that i am verry emotionally an mentally sound..an i would have to admidt i am not as mentally unstable as she is , when he dated me.... Me an him had a great relationship, until one day he had decided to visit her for lunch .. an after that me an his relationship went to the rocks an he went back out with her i couldn't understand why ? but he seemed attracted to her abuse an they way she treated him?? so from my exsperience i would say ... the chances are probubly slim... people wont admidt it but they seem to be more attracted to there screwed up an unhealthy realationships there in because in there mind they think that they can fix it an work it out witch technically they cant ! but everybody is different i hope this person can see what a good person you are to her an hopefully will choose you over the abusive exI My girlfriend was abused by a narcissistic brother and father her for a long time and I love her with all my heart! 8)
Is it worth sacrificing a solid relationship with someone you love and who loves you to return to a loveless marriage?
No, the children will be happier if you and their other parent are happy and treat them well. I come from divorced parents and I'm sure I am better off because they divorced… and got along afterwards, and gave us all lots of love. 'You shouldn't even have a "solid relationshsip with someone you love" if you are already married. My advice is to return to your marriage and BUILD the love - it can be done! Arranged marriages in other countries work all the time because they HAVE to. [Comment: That's the whole point. But if you're lucky enough to live under conditions that allow more freedom, you shouldn't comply to moral ideas that came into existence under living conditions that no longer apply to yours. The only reason to do so is to oblige yourself, because you'd either never forgive yourself for breaking up a marriage or you prefer self-sacrifice and dreams to fulfillment and reality.] When you married your current spouse, it was for better or for worse. This may be one of the worse times, but it is not impossible to share an even stronger love with your current spouse than the one you have with this other person. You won't be "sacrificing" your current extra-marital relationship because it couldn't possibly be as solid as you say if you are already married. In this day and age it is all too easy to toss a comittment in the garbage, but that is not how it was meant to be. Do this world a favor and be one of the moral ones'..... To this reply , why don't you say it shorter.....that she should 'PUT UP AND SHUT UP!'How can you make judgments on a situation or a person you don't know enough about? If there weren't children involved, then my advice would be a "no, don't sacrifice your new love." However, just because you have children with your husband, and you've left him, that doesn't end the relationship with the children. Is it possible that you (and your "new" man) could move back to the same town/city, or nearby, so you can still visit the kids? Yes, it will complicate things with the kids, but it's MUCH better than them not knowing you at all, and it is DEFINATELY better than them growing up in a household if there is resentment or ill feeling between parents. Statistically, 60% of marriages end in divorce or separation nowadays. It's sad, but it's not unusualy and your kids will adapt, and will still love you. NO! IT IS NOT WORTH IT just for the sake of the marriage. Don't have low self esteem and know your self worth.You deserve to be happy. It depends on the marriage. Usually if both spouses are mature, and willing to work and sacrifice for each other, they can have a loving relationship once again. If something serious happened, like infidelity, or abuse, then leave the marriage. You should never, ever try to find another romantic relationship if you're married though. It hurts everyone involved. Why would you even ask this? Dang!
Yes, it is possible for a person to fall in love again, after a previous love. The real question to ask oneself is- "was it just infatuation?" Time heals all wounds, some just… take longer than others. I personally believe that if you truly love someone that it is highly unlikely you will fall in "true" love woth someone else. You may love someone else however it will never be the same. You always will still think about that person it will never fully go away. Your heart has "blown its load" and anybody else from that point on will only get a small piece of your heart. WHen you truly love someone and you end up with them than it WILL last if its not true love than the word is abused in a sense b/c its a DEEP fealing that I believe can only be acheived once in a lifetime...That's my personal opinion, and I have been through it so that's my experience. I don't feel it is easy to forget ones first love and love again...its more like a compromise as human being is a social animal and can't survive in isolation. But loving someone again with same enthu and same feelings and same freshness is almost impossible. Coz in true love one has given all him/her emotions and shared certain moments that it is really hard to feel the same again with someone else. It is more like a terror ....but has to be accepted as God has its own ways. Life is too strange and people come into your life in your youthful years with strange freshness and leave you all stale and messed up not to be used again . -(Answer];;-I Believe Yhu Could..IHave And Now im Truely Happy With Him..It Took Meh A While To Love Him..Because i Didnt Want To Get Hurt..But ITs Possible..Be Careful Though.. *-Cookiee;;
Answer It is entirely reasonable, and even probable, to fall in love with someone who thinks very highly of themselves. If after some time, one discovers that t…his person does not love you, that does not mean that the reason they have not fallen in love with you is because they are a 'narcissist' (using the term very loosely). The best course of action at this point is to consider what were the possible causes in your own behavior which could be amended or improved in the future. What one does not want to do is repeat your own mistakes. =Answer= I asked the original question, but I do not agree with your answer. Sorry. This would imply that there might have been something I could have done differently or that it was my mistake to have gotten involved with a narcissist in the first place. First of all, narcissists do not have a big "N" tattooed on their foreheads! We don't see them coming, you know? Secondly, I know there is nothing wrong with me. I was loving, kind and generous to this man, and he took advantage of it. He is sick, and maybe not even fully aware of the effect he has had on me. I spoke with my counselor since I asked this question. I asked her for an opinion. She told me that narcissists are masters at projection (look it up) they mirror back to us our own ideals of love. They observe us carefully and pick up on cues as to what our ideal relationship would be. What we are seeing and falling in love with is a mirror of our own desires reflected to us in the eyes of the narcissist. You can learn a lot from this if you see it as a positive. My counselor told me that what I brought to the table in the relationship is still mine to keep- my capacity to love. I have not lost that. Please be careful about blaming the victim, as I have interpreted your reply. We are good people and we are hurting. We do not need or deserve the additional burden to think that any of this is our fault. Answer It sure is! Narcissistic people are chameleons and they hide their truth selfish and egotistical selves very well. However, they are just human like everyone else and the ugly side of them has to come out sooner or later. Narcissists can drive a person to near insanity with their mind-bending game-playing so if you are caught up in this don't blame yourself. Run!
How is it possible to fall so completely in love with a narcissist if they are incapable of falling in love themselves?
you let yourself do it. You need to learn to spot the problems. You need to see lots of people and learn to trust your internal "radar" so that you don't make that mistake aga…in. A narcissist seems like a lot of fun as long as it's just a trivial relationship. But once it starts getting serious, they don't know how, not really. You need to learn to spot that before the next one comes along and hurts you again. Narcissists are a sad lot. They actually can feel love, but are bent on self mutilating everything they touch and that includes ruining any relationship they come in contact with. Narcissists feel they need to control because they lived in an environment of the lack of control for themselves or it's learned behavior from a parent, etc. It often appears that the Narcissist is winning and leaving bodies behind them, but alas, in the end they burn their bridges and have a lonely existence ahead of them. Controlling a mate or those around you isn't much fun as you get older. Signs of a Narcissist: Self indulgence, arrogance, feeling they are more intelligent than those around them. They consider most people to be mere smudges in society and unintelligent. They are crafty and can be chameleons (one minute being very nice, then back-stabbing, abusive, argumentative.) When they first meet their VICTIM they can over-whelm her with gifts, take her to expensive places, but if a woman is wary (and she should be when she first meets someone) the signs are there. Perhaps ordering your food for you, telling you what to wear for the evening and what not to wear. Making unkind comments about your appearance in general. Correcting many things you do such as cooking a meal, making a statement on any subject. A Narcissist will CORRECT! There are many more signs, but the above should be enough to cause any woman to run screaming for the hills.
Answer keep being that person's friend and get to know him a lot, who knows, he might love you someday too and if you really love this person don't give up
Is it possible to love one person with your heart and be true only in your heart and be married to someone else and be true to that person in your marriage?
Answer No - it is selfish. Your heart is somewhere else but your settling for your husband in which in the above question you do not mention love but just being …true. You are not being fair to your husband or yourself.
You could always tell him how you feel as that always makes us feel better but if that is what he wants there is not really too much you can do as he has obviously made …his decision. If you want to leave things on a good note you could always have a mature amicable break and be thankful for the time you did have together (if that is how you feel of course). I realize it is easier said then done and that you maybe sad but think of it as a new beginning for yourself as well. Support groups are also very helpful. Good Luck.
If a narcissist marries someone with Borderline Personality Disorder do they have a better chance of making the marriage work longterm?
In my humble opinion, they have no chance of any meaningful relationship because of the inability to love. This is a very difficult combination; the borderline will have …a deep fear of rejection and so does the narcissist. The Narcissist is likely to lie and cheat which compounds the Borerlines fear of rejection, the lack of empathy from the narcissist replays the early injuries to the Borderline. There is a very good book. The Narcissistic/Borderline Couple - A Psychoanalytic Perspective on marital treatment.
Answer Yes there is if the person who lost their true love to death will allow it. Most people feel guilty regarding a new relationship after the death of a wife …or husband. It's a road each individual must go down themselves and make their own decision on. Some people remain loyal to their first love who has passed on, while many others meet someone that they fall in love with and there is nothing wrong with this. You can never truly replace your true love, but you can love another.
get over it. you could spend your whole life waiting a wishing and wanting. but that might never happen if they are in love and youll only hold yourself back and make it hurt …even more. just try to move on and maybe..possibly you will
Yes. That's why people break up. Someone fell out of love with the other person.
Then you can tell them if they are available. If they are with someone else then it would be best to not share your feelings for that person out loud. You will be the one that… is hurt in the end, unfortunately. Good luck!
You break up with the one you're with, and try to get closer to the one you love.
Is this possible for someone to fall in love again with someone else after a failed love affair of over five years?
Yes it is possible to love someone else even after such a happening. though it will take some time for you to be mentally stable and prepared for another relationship but time… makes everything possible. it heals the wound and helps you get over the bitter experiences of life. take it as a lesson, be confident enough, gain your strength and redefine your life.. after all you ought to give life a second chance.. :)
you dream of that person day or night. you imagine that person in every little thing you do. you relate your daily activities to that person's reaction. you deny loving that p…erson but still care for him / her a lot. their pain and happiness bothers you somewhere. you have a wish of seeing that person daily or frequently. you respect the sentiments and emotions of that person.
start by deleting him on facebook and off your phone. not being able to contact him is a good way to avoid drunken calls or misshaps. get rid off his stuff. burn cards and pho…tos of you two together. then buy a teddy bear, chocolates and cry.