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I think if you really want to change, this means get active. Go to counselling perhaps to figure out why you cheat and what measures you need to take to not put yourself in these situations. I would not tell my spouse. If you are honest about change and never do it again, you should not tell them. Unless, there is a chance they may have got a disease.

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Q: Should someone who cheated on their partner with several people for several years keep that a secret if they want to change and stay in that relationship?
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Should someone who cheated on their partner with several people for several years and had an affair keep that a secret if they want to change and stay in that relationship?

Sorry to say that honesty is the best policy and you may run the risk of losing the one you truly love. The reason honesty is the best way in your situation is you are bound to bump into someone that will embarrass you in front of you partner or let the cat out of the bag. You'll always be looking over your shoulder and it would a great deal of stress for you. If you want to start a new and healthy relationship then honesty has to be at the top of the list. Take the chance! Good luck!


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Should you forgive and stay in a relationship with someone after they have cheated on you?

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Could it be the worst feeling ever to be making love with someone and that someone is thinking about someone else?

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Will your relationship work once your mate has been caught cheating?

There is no reason why you should not come out with a stronger relationship after your partner has had an affair. Although adultery couples arrive the most upset at my therapy office, they leave the happiest. This is because they normally work harder and look deeper into their relationship than anyone else. This is because they are determined that it shouldn't happen again.However there are several riders to this optimistic answer. Firstly, I think you and your partner need to have been together long enough to put down roots and become truly committed to each other. If you've been dating for a few months and find your man or woman is sleeping with someone else - this is probably a sign that this is not the relationship for you. Secondly, your partner has got to be committed to understanding why he or she cheated and working on solving the underlying problems.All the bestAndrew G Marshall.andrewgmarshall.com