What do you do when your mother dislikes you and her boyfriend is abusive but they won't let you leave?
You tell somebody, I'd tell my guidance counselor or a trusted family member.
52 people found this useful
Seek a PPO. Its a Personal Protection Order. You can get one at your local county courthouse, or at the Clerks office, you can also go on-line and check them out considering what state you live in. Personal Protection Orders are designed for domestic (family or relationship) situations. If this gets… serious or if you feel the treat to be genuine, you can also call the cops and inform them of said threat. Anytime someone threatens you and you feel that the treat is real, that is an assault, you do not need to get hit for an assault to be warranted. nor do you need a battery (hitting of any kind) to follow along with it. an Assault is when a person makes a threat that the person to whom the threat was made feels in fear of the person making said threat, therefore, if this happens an Assault has occurred, most times when someone say something to the extent of, "I'm going to beat the S#$% out of you," (an Assault) and follows it up it by doing so (battery) it becomes an Assault and battery. But for now if seek A PPO and Call the police within a reasonable time of the treat being made. Answer 1. LEAVE. Leave now, leave quickly, get to someplace safe and surround yourself with people that truly care about you. Yes, it's complicated. Yes, it can be heartbreaking - but here's two insights that might help; your boyfriend has some issues that he needs to deal with (whether its anger management, his own past childhood abuse, chemical abuse, bipolar disorder or something else), and love does not involve threatening people with anything (little of all death). You do not have the expertise to give your boyfriend the professional help he clearly needs to become stable and a non-threat, neither are you in a safe position to assist him to get that expertise. Relationships based on threats have no trust, no trust means no security nor love, without security or love...why is there a relationship? The answer is out of habit. Habit is not a valid reason for relationships of any kind. 1a. You need to get a record with the local police department as soon as possible registering a complaint against him for threatening you. The reason for this is that most state/local laws about stalking or restraint orders require a significant stack of paperwork to show reason why that legal measure would be necessary, and you should have it as a safety net. When you get in touch with the police, be sure to have his car license plate number with you. If he is involved with any minor fender-benders in the near future, the record at the police department should spur an investigation - even if you weren't present and no one was majorly injured. 1b. Seek expert advice about the validity of his threats, and what response is best as far as whether you should live at a safe house for a while or if you should not change any habits (so as not to empower him as per response #1's idea). An expert can ask you questions about the circumstances of the threat, his past history of threatening you, and other such critical pieces of evidence that are too private for the internet ~ and unknowable to any random advice giver (no matter how good the intention is). This leads to number 2 - 2. Locate a good counselor and meet with him or her to talk about your experiences with this soon-to-be-ex-boyfriend so that you can observe any patterns in your life that might create future relationship difficulties with men who will be much more significant to you and much more thoughtful and loving. Most states offer a low income counseling option, if money is an issue - if you are still in high school talk to your school counselor. Many cities have "survival" groups that are free. People who share related experiences meet in these (mostly open membership) groups to work through issues and yes, have fun. Joining a "abuse survival" group might be a good experience for you, even if you were never physically abused - mental abuse (such as a threat that causes so much anxiety that you resort to posting an annonymous question on the WikiAnswers website) is also abuse. If money isn't a concern, get the counselor who has the most experience in the area of relationships, abuse, etc. If all else fails, buy one of those recent books by Dr. Phil. Seriously. Not that his threat to you is in any way your fault - rather, it is important for your safety that you can identify characteristics about this soon to be ex that make him dangerous, so that you avoid others like him in your future. After all, part of resolving this question of yours is how you will heal after this experience. (Note: another expert that might be of assistance to you if you are inclined to do so, have the money to do so, and would feel more secure doing so, is a lawyer while you are at it. Select this lawyer by word-of-mouth (ask trusted friends) the yellow pages is just not a good way to judge which lawyers are good or not. I doubt you would need a lawyer at all...but hey, its an option.) But...back to the nice warm and fuzzy part - see point 3 below. 3. The good news is - the future is yours. It's all yours and it is a nice loooooong future. You will get wrinkles and grey hair, you will have more grandkids than you know what to do with. Someday ~ in the distant future. And the sooner you safely get out of the relationship you are in (by involving police and other experts) the sooner this nice future will have its first, promising days. It wont be easy, nothing is, staying would be far harder. The past is just that, it is gone. The present is what you can change. The future is yet unwritten. Your future should be filled with security, safety, and loving people who wish the best for you. Reach out to those people, and take your first steps toward meeting the one's you don't know yet. Leave. ASAP. Answer Hey buddy! Relax. People who issue these kind of threats are usually like dogs who just know to bark and not to bite. So,don't you worry. He comes across as an abuser no doubt. But, don't you be scared of him. I will advise you to involve your parents in the issue if you can and if not then take help of a very reliable friend and report the matter to police immediately. He will be taken to task. And at no point show yourself to be a weak person. Leave him immediately and also you can tell him that you are not scared of his threats and he can do whatever he feels like and that you have already informed a few good people about it (threats, so if anything has to happen to you he won't get off scot free). And friend, next time try to judge a person well and give yourself sometime before you commit into a relationship. Good Luck! (MORE)
Answer . \nSounds like this guy has brain-washed you. Why on earth wouldn't you feel you were good enough for him? Men and women both cheat no matter how good their mate is to them. Some people just aren't mature or have a kink in the old brain matter.\n. \nI doubt he has you chained to the w…all, so get angry, think about yourself and kick this guy to the curb. Why don you leave him? Get rid of this guy and move on to someone who will treat you like you deserve to be treated.\n. \nIf he physically beats you, then plan things out. TELL NO ONE what your plans are. When he's at work get your packed bags (you won't be able to go back so be sure you take what is precious to you) and go to a Transition House for Abused Women or go to your closest Mental Health Facility and they will lead you in the right direction. They are there to protect you. There are absolutely no excuses for abused women to put up with this behavior anymore. (MORE)
Is it considered emotional abuse when your parents will not accept your sexuality and won't let you be yourself and be happy?
It depends on how old you are and what they are doing. You say they"will not accept" your sexuality, and "won't let you be yourselfand be happy". If you mean they are telling you that you'll growout of it, then it's not emotional abuse. If the world was aperfect place, parents would be happy for the…ir children andsupport them in this. But if they are forcing you to go to apsychiatrist or a religious organization to try and change you,then maybe it is. It makes a difference too if you are twelve or ifyou are sixteen. At twelve you still have lots of things to learnand understand about yourself and your sexuality, but at sixteenyou would be a lot more confident and definite about yourself. No, it is not considered emotional abuse. It's a difference ofopinion. I can certainly sympathize with you, but also with yourparents. You have lived in your body for so many years and keptyour sexuality a secret, so when you told your parents it was quitea shock to them. Often parents are in denial and know full welltheir child is gay, but prefer to ignore the signs. Even when theirchild admits to it they feel that "they can change." Give it time. You have just given them the shock of their lives.It's tough for them to understand why you are gay and blamethemselves for the way you are. They believe if they don't agreewith you that "it will go away" or "it's a phase you'll get over)or if you pray enough God will make everything right. As you knowfor years there has been a stigma towards gays and it hasn't beenthat long since gays have been able to "come out of the closet" andbe themselves. Slowly, but surely, society is beginning to acceptgays into society. In Canada, gays can marry. At least where I livethere isn't much thought given to it one way or the other. With allthe terrible things going on in the world we feel that gays are theleast of our worries. If you are truly gay, then you are gay. If you have experimented(bisexual) this does not always make you gay. If a gay person hasconvinced you that you are gay you may not be. Only you know thereal answer to this one. You didn't say how old you were. If you still have to live at home,then just be who you are. Don't bring other gay friends to yourparents home, but go out and socialize with your friends or lover. My husband and I have several gay friends and there is no problemwith it for us, but then again, that's us. I believe that peopleshould be true to themselves or they will never be happy. You haveto understand, that not everyone accepts a gay person, and yourparents fear for your safety. There is "gay bashing" and a lot ofit happens in bars or even walking home from a bar. I think youparents are more fearful for you than anything. Never for one moment think that your parents don't love you. Theydo! They are just trying to get over the shock, and trying to findways to deal with it. If you are a male this is extremely hard onthe father especially if he only has one son. It's a "male thing."Still, you must be true to yourself in order to be happy. Give it time and the first one that will come up to the plate to bethere for you will be your mother. Respect how they feel as well,and now that you have been courageous enough to tell your parents,let them digest this for a bit. Don't expect a lot of miraclesright off the bat. (MORE)
Answer . Two possibilities: \n1. He doesn't feel that anything needs closure. Maybe he's willing to just walk away. 2. Denial. If he believes that he can still control you by refusing to do as you wish, he may think that he can keep the relationship going. Maybe he's just thinking that he can k…eep you from going or maybe that you don't really want to. Remember that abuse is about control. He wants to control you at least as much as be your boyfriend. (MORE)
Answer . You're 18 and a legally responsible adult. You can do whatever you like, but it would be wise to make a good relationship with your parents a priority.
How do you get over your boyfriend leaving you to go back to his family because he feels guilt but says he still loves you but his wife won't let him go?
real family . \nHe doesn't love you enough to stay. He'd rather be with his "real" family. You need to just get over it and date "single" men. Men that are tied up in family usually stay with their family cuz they have already made a family, they aren't looking to start anotehr one.
What can you do when your boyfriend accused you of cheating but you didn't and he won't let you explain?
\n. \n Answer \n. \n. \nIf he has so little trust in you and won't even ask you what the truth of the matter is, it may be you're better off not to be in a relationship with him. There's very little you can do but email or leave him a message saying you still would like to talk to him about… what went on between you two but will respect his wishes and not contact him again. Leave the ball in his court.\n. \n Answer \n. \nYour boyfriend has probably come from a family where one or both parents have cheated, or some ex girlfriend has cheated on him and he is now not confident in his future relationships. Give it one more try with him and if he doesn't give you a chance to express yourself then move on no matter how heart-breaking it is. \n. \nDon't cry over spilled milk and be firm with him and say, "When you start accusing people of things they didn't do then you should be mature enough to sit down and talk it out. If you don't then you have the problem!" Don't cry and carry on over this with him because it makes you look guilty. Stand firm, and NEVER let anyone treat you in this manner.\n. \nRemember, you know who you are and that you haven't cheated on him. That's all that matters. (MORE)
Your mom is probably just worried that you might get too "friendly" with your boyfriend, and she is just trying to protect you from the worse thing that could happen.....
Answer . \nBecause he's crazy and you should probably call the cops , no seriously. Get help.
Answer . \nIf a teenager's parents will not allow him to have a job, he should ask for a weekly allowance. If they will not give him an allowance, he could try to do chores and odd jobs for friends and neighbors to earn some spending money. If there is a specific reason that the parents will no…t allow him to have a job, such as poor grades or bad behavior, he should concentrate on changing those things and set up a deal with his parents on how much improvement he needs to make before being allowed either a job or an allowance.. (MORE)
Answer . First why did you break up in the first place?\n. Answer . It doesn't really matter why you broke up, but if he gave you the dog as a gift then it's your dog. If it was always his dog from the beginning when you started to go together then sorry, he has the right to say no. Try re…asoning with him and instead of fighting tell him you'd love to have the dog for a couple of days a week or once on the weekend. If he won't consider this an option and it's your dog, then seek legal counsel. (MORE)
Answer . Answer Perhaps he does not want to, is uncomfortable with doing so, and he may understand the issues with even going there if you are underage. Consequences are huge for guys and you should honor his wishes. You would want him to do the same for you if you had objections.
You have to tell your parents and if the situation is really bad you are going to have to go to the police. This boy is obviously obsessed and has a problem and you have to be careful in situations such as this because they can get out of hand. Go to your parents and discuss the situation and tell t…hem everything as they need to know to be able to help you.. Make out with his brother and or sister. and is better... (MORE)
quietly do not let him know you are leaving. An abusive husband is a very common and serious problem. if you have plans to move in with your ex boyfriend then do it secretly make sure he is asleep or at least an hour or 2 away. if you receive threats do not answer he will find you. if he threatens y…ou again go to the police it is no longer a small enough problem, CALL THE POLICE!!! (MORE)
At grade 6, you are not of dating age. With dating comes a lot of responsibilities, decisions and emotions that your mom obviously feels you are not ready for, in which she is right. Don't be in so much of a hurry - there is so much time in your future for dating then you will be overwhelmed. Enjoy… being young and innocent while you can. (MORE)
Perhaps he's nervous to break off. Or, as more of a complement, he does not think he can do any better. Maybe uncomfortable being single?
check for unusualty in his behavior. if he acts a bit strange then talk to him about it in a calm tone. screaming will get you NOWHERE! also, keep an honest, open, and comforatble relationship so that he WON'T have a reason to leave you. Sometimes, you'll have to do what he wants but if you ABSOLUTE…LY DON'T want to, talk to him. They key is to be as honest, soothing, and fun as possible. (MORE)
-Pray about it.. -Call the police.. -Get counseling on how to get him to leave.. -Don't be afraid of him but don't be risky by standing up to him..
If you have someone you can explicitly trust tell them what is happening and get them to help you contact the police.
Try and reason with them, they will slowly let you do things as you get older, try and act maturely. Take your Boyfriend/girlfriend somewhere where your parents have no part in what goes on.
Why would you want to do that? Your mother bothers you, nags at you, scolds you, beat you because she loves you. Think about it again.
If your dad and his girlfriend are abusive and your mother won't do a thing about it is it illegal to run away?
Answer: . I would say it is not a good idea to run away, but to call the police (or visit them) and tell them what's happening and show them the bruises. They may be able to help. Also if you are under 18 then yes, unfortunately it is illegal. Answer: . It probably wont be illegal but i don't thi…nk it is a good idea. try calling a children's helpline or something. look it up on google and you will find the helpline number. (MORE)
\nWait until you're older!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't worry about that kind of stuff til it actually has a place in your life.
are you male? if so maybe hes never tried it , continue trying and he'll love it. are you male? if so maybe hes never tried it , continue trying and he'll love it
How do i deal with my boyfriends mom who won't leave him and me alone She doesn't let him do anything he doesn't have a life he's always having to watch his little brothers but i love him what do i do?
basically maintain with the situation. if you love him that much and want to simply be with him then patience can only bring you two together. eventually hell have some freetime and if not you two will go drastic measures to do so. so take time and just talk and call him let him know your thinking o…f him and it will bring you two closer together and you will see the difference (MORE)
just tell him the reasons that bother you a lot. Talk and get those things sorted out. Maybe he improves on those things and relationship gets saved.
Yes because if she is being abused then she should leave because who knows if after she gives birth and their baby grows up the guy wont start abusing the kid. The mother should want to protect her baby and leave the guy so they can have a better life. If the baby is a boy living in that kind of sit…uation where his mother is being abused he may think that it is ok to hit woman. If the baby is a girl she may end up in abusive relationships cuz that's what she grew up with seeing is ok. Also there could be the possibility that the bf would start possibly sexually abusing the little girl when she grows up (MORE)
If you're referring to a relationship between male and female which is more than friend, and they get separated (I believe when the boyfriend keeps bugging his ex, the girl must be the one who dumped him) then, for a lot of reasons... 1. He still loves her. 2. He obsess about her. 3. He is… jealous of her. 4. He feels guilty for leaving her alone. 5. He feels the need to protect her more. 6. Which sums up, he obsess about her. 7. Maybe, he's a bully. 8. Stalker? 9. Then again, that would sums up the equation of one being obsess about her. 10. He can't leave her because they're stuck in the middle of nowhere. 11. He can't leave her because they work/study at the same place. 11. The girlfriend is just being paranoid. (MORE)
It's cheap to cheat on your boyfriend whether you love him or not. You need to communicate with him that you don't love him and want your freedom to do as you wish and to see who you want and you want to be honest with him and let him get on with his own life. Warning: 'Still waters run deep' w…hich means if your boyfriend is a nice guy he could easily panic and do something rash to you or himself if you persist on leaving him. It is obvious he isn't going to let go easily. If he has a temper then beware and don't discuss leaving him unless you are around your parents; other family members or male and female friends. If you are living together then move out. If he texts you refuse to answer him and if phones you then don't answer the phone. If he threatens you in any way then keep any emails or taped phone conversations and go to the police. (MORE)
If you mean why wont your ex boyfriend leave your life alone the he might be jealous of you talking to other men or he might still want to be with you
The abused has allowed themselves to believe that they are the cause of the abuse are not worthy of any better treatment.
t's not recommended but as long as someone is watching the puppies and its only for like 4 mins.
This is not a compound sentence. However, it could be reworded to,"My mother will not let my cat in the house because she dislikesthem," to sound more grammatically correct.
What if your family wants to rescue a near 18 yo from the perm guardianship of an abusive family member in AZ we are in WA and not related are there laws to protect us his fam won't let him leave?
Unfortunately, you probably can't do anything until he turns 18 except for love him and let him know he's welcome in your home when he turns 18. You can begin getting your life ready for him if you're serious about taking him in and are really the ones to do it--make sure he has a room/space set up,… talk to counselors in the area and set up appointments for him to attend counseling once he is in your care, make sure you have a school for him, find a doctor and get him checked out to make sure any fractures he might have are healing well, etc. Until then, you can report the family to children's services or wait it out... depending on the situation, it tends to be as far as it is wide. Knowing people love him is sure to help immensely, and knowing he has somewhere to go after he turns 18 (even if it means you driving there and he leaving with only the clothes on his back) will also be immensely comforting and help him survive. (MORE)
Just relax and wait for a couple of days. Mummy dogs are very protective of her pups and she might be afraid that you may take them away or harm them. Wait for a weeks time. Let her wean the pups and then she wouldn't mind you getting near them.
Often times a cheating boyfriend will not leave because he feels a sense of comfort with you. He may not be happy, but he knows that you will always be there. The real question to ask here should be why would you not leave your cheating boyfriend. Feelings of helplessness may be to blame. However, i…t is important to accept the situation for what it is and to move on...without him. (MORE)
Hi, I understand your concern for your friend. Unfortunately, until she is ready to leave, there is not much that you can do. Women in abusive relationships often return to their abuser more than once after they have left. Pray for your friend. Offer to take her to counseling. Offer to take her to a… domestic violence shelter. She is going to need a good friend to be there...she's lucky to have you. (MORE)
How do you get your parents to like your boyfriend if they won't let you associate with him out of school?
That's something your boyfriend has to work for. He has to show them he's a good influence and will give you experiences that are good and healthy for your growing up.
you have to flat out tell him it's OVER.he might try asking to call and what not but you have to tell him not for a week or so.if he calls don't answer.you'll feel bad,but you have to be clear and honest with him.
just tell ur mom i wontmy kid to be in one home with both of his parents there and u alread know what we have done so ya i may be young but im ganna live with him sooner or later why not now
Yea my dad doesn't let me have a boyfriend too cause they don't won't see their little girls to grow up so fast
In the state of Arkansas is it legal for me to take my children and leave my abusive boyfriend and leave the state?
Absolutely. Do it immediately. The only thing he can do is sue you for custody, and if you can prove that he was/is abusive, he will not get it. You can also try to get a restraining order put on him. Do this immediately. Call the police right away. Do not wait, it only gets worse. Do it for your ch…ildren. (MORE)
You need to be very careful with this. If he has hit you once there is nothing stopping him from hitting you again. Think about the reasons, and get another male in the room with you, even if its a gay guy. He won't want to attack you with another person in the room. BE CAREFUL!!! Try and find a guy… who can kick his ass to go with you, that way you can have the upper hand. Good Luck. (MORE)
If he is really abusive go to the police! You should go to counseling or something.
From what I delt with being adopted my my mom treating her blood relative better than myself because I'm not her real family. But that's different. Here's what I see. Honestly. It depends on your age, if you're in your teens, not 17 or 18. You can probably get help from emotional abuse. If you're a…n adult living with your sister and mom, move out, find someone who has the same problems and make a bond. If your sister tries to call you, stop by your house, you can probably tell someone that she's harrassing you and to get her to stay away from you. (MORE)
well when you find the right guy, it doesnt matter what how long. now that your single all you have to do is live your life or else. your just going to being hiding from everything. so just wait for a couple of weeks. and go out, have fun. only if your ready.:)
The bigwig is still waiting for his wine. His thugs will not let you walk out. Go to the kitchen and climb up through the vent above the stove, then jump across the ceiling lights to reach the door.
You should perhaps dump your boyfirend and listen to your parents advice. You may believe that you love him, but there are plenty more fish in this salt water sea. Don't worry, one day, they will allow it. But for now, just go with what your parents say. If the guy you like loves you all that much, …he will wait for your parents to approve. (MORE)
It means that he doesn't want you to be nosy and look through his stuff. He may have been having a heart to heart conversation with someone and isn't ready to tell you what they were talking about. If you can't trust him, you shouldn't be dating.
It is because we are still young and not suitable for all this sort of "action" like kissing , hugging and holding hands