What should one do if their abuser monitors their every move so closely that they feel that by reaching out for any kind of support she is risking severe retaliaton?

Answer 1

The simple advice is to get out of there hun, NOW. When your abuser is at work or away somewhere, then ring a support centre or social welfare/services or even the police and they will help you, put you somewhere safe so your abuser will never come near you again. IF you REALLY want to get away, you will find a way. Does he work? Get out while he is at work. Does he go out with his friends? Go then. Does he ever sleep? Go then. Do you go shopping? Get out that way. Do you visit your family? Go then. Remember that the Police are there to protect you, BUT only if you TELL THEM about this abuse. A phone call to the Police takes only 5 minutes, and then they can act on your complaint. They can come and escort you out of the place where you live, and he can't do anything about it. If he tries to interfere, or threatens you, while the Police are there, he will be arrested for domestic violence , and you are out of there. If you keep quiet, they can't read your mind. It's unorthodox, but you could try this: Make up a small crime against you. You lost your wallet, your license was stolen, someone broke your headlight...anything that will allow you to come into your local police station for a routine and quick report. Even act aggravated about having to do it. If the police scare the abuser, make up another, even more innocent excuse...a friend's car broke down, you forgot something at the store... Once there, most PD stations have on-site victims' advocates or other resources that can offer you anonymous protection, from escorting you to an unadvertised shelter to putting you in the hands of the court. The thing is, you need to be ready to make a dramatic, life-altering change that, once done, can't be undone. Once you leave, you can't go back if the violence is that serious. But you can get out. National Domestic Abuse Hotline 24 hr access everyday of the year from all 50 states, 1-800-799-7235, http://ndvh.org. Feminist Majority Foundation, http://www.feminist.org, "911 For Women."